Bad Boy Edward
by Victoria VV
Summary: Edward is the town player, with a horrible secret. Who would have guessed that such a hot boy is hiding such a dark secret? When Edward and Bella slip up, can they learn to acceppt eachother's pasts and love eachother? AH, and will have some lemons.
1. The Boy, Part 1

Chapter 1, The Boy

BPOV

I sat in Biology class, absentmindedly doodling on a piece of notebook paper. I had lived in Forks for approximately two days, and this was my first day of school. It was the middle of January, and I knew absolutely no one.

Biology was my second to last class of the day...finally. The seat next to me was empty and I intended to keep it that way.

That was when the door opened and in walked a majorly hot guy with messy bronze colored hair. He had a smug smile on his face and marched towards the seat next to me cockily.

I sighed. Naturally, as soon I think I don't want something...that something happens...

"Mr. Cullen, _how_ many times are you intending to be late to my _class_?" Mr. Varner asked.

The bronze-haired kid reclined in his seat, smiling innocently at Mr. Varner. "Oh, only a hundred more times or so...how many classes do we have left?" His voice was very smooth and absolutely amazing. Every girl in the classroom either swooned or fanned themselves. With the exception of myself of course.

I rolled my eyes, as did the teacher. Then the boy glanced over at me with a large smile. "Hi," he whispered. I waved and then focused on my drawing.

I wanted to scream when I felt a tap on my upper arm. I glanced over and the kid handed me a note.

I sighed, and unfolded it. Why the hell did he have to fold it? I was sharing a lab table with him!

_My name is Edward Cullen. You must be the new girl, Bella Swan?_ I couldn't help but admire his hand writing. It was perfect and really nice.

I sighed and scribbled, _Yeah, I am. Nice to meet you._ I rolled my eyes as I handed the note back to him. Then I froze when I saw Mr. Varner staring at the two of us.

"Passing notes? That's a detention for you both." Mr. Varner declared. Every one chuckled as he wrote out the detention slip. I glared at Edward who was smiling widely at me. "Sorry." He mouthed.

I glared, "You're not forgiven." I mouthed back. He chuckled and pulled out his notebook.

***

The rest of the day went by excruciatingly slow. I got to detention after school. Edward was already there and was sitting with his feet up on the table.

"Nice converse." I muttered as I plopped down in a different table. I pulled out my notebook, and started my homework.

"Thanks," Edward said, much too closely. I glanced over only to find him sitting next to me. I glared at him.

"Oh, still not over the whole 'I got you a detention thing?'" He asked, pulling out an i-pod that looked ridiculously expensive.

I rolled my eyes. "I shouldn't _be_ here now! I didn't _do_ anything!"

He chuckled. "I distinctly recall you handing me the note back. You could have stuffed it in your back pack, but you didn't. At the very least you could have checked to see if the teacher was _looking_ or not! But, if I knew you were a failure at passing notes, then I would have passed it to the kid behind you."

"I am _not_ a failure at passing notes!" I said. He was really starting to get on my nerves. He chuckled as he stuck the head phones in his ears.

It wasn't long before he tapped my shoulder again.

"What!?" I demanded.

He smiled. "Ah, don't be that way, I just wanted to know if you had a pencil sharpener?"

I rolled my eyes for the millionth time that day. I glanced down to see a broken pencil. When I did glance down I happened to see his AP math book. It was honors calculus. Juniors were only doing Trigonometry. He must be really smart.

"Um, here." I muttered, handing him a mechanical pencil. "These work ten times better."

"They always break when I use them." He said with a quick smile, showing off his amazingly white perfect teeth.

"So, what kind of math is that?" I asked, honestly curious. If he was so smart, then why did he act like such a jerk around all the teachers?

"The kind you do." He said sarcastically. He looked uncomfortable and he looked away.

I started at him for a long time, before finally giving up and continuing my work.

It was about five minutes later when he shut his book and walked over to the teacher who had been watching us. She looked like she was about twenty and was paying absolutely no attention to us.

She glanced up from the computer screen she was sitting at. Her eyes widened a little when she saw Edward and immediately smiled warmly at him. I sighed.

"Uh, hey, Miss Pots, I finished my Calculus. Um, Mr. Varner said to come and get the extra Biology homework he had for me when I finished with math. Would you mind if I went and got it from him?" Edward asked, politely.

My forehead creased. Extra homework? Mr. Varner hadn't given me any. Why did Edward get some? I decided it must have been because Edward got so many detentions, the teachers must be fed up with him.

Miss Pots nodded her head, smiling at him again.

He returned in the room a few minutes later with another AP book. So he was smart then?

But why didn't he just jump a grade, or switch to honors classes?

Edward walked over to me and set his book down, and his forehead creased as he saw me eyeing his book.

"So AP calculus and AP biology homework?" I asked casually.

He sighed and sat down. "If you tell any one I am doing AP homework, I will tell the whole school that you slept with me and that you are a little slut."

I raised my eyebrows. "I don't need any threats, I just want to know why?" He was obviously defensive about it.

He sighed again and glanced down at his book. He opened the book to the page he had to do. "I don't want people to think I'm a nerd. I got offered to jump a grade and I refused. I got offered to do all AP classes and I refused. The teachers let me do my own thing for about a month until I became a disturbance in class because I started acing the tests and I was board. They said I either had to take AP tutoring or switch to AP classes. Naturally, I took the first option. I wasn't into the all-nerd-society."

I had to laugh at that. "You know, it isn't a bad thing to be smart."He rolled his eyes. "I'm not smart."

"Right. And I don't have brown hair." I said, sarcastically.

He chuckled. "And now back to the threat. You tell anyone, then you will be known as the slut who knows too much."

I giggled. "I think you would like people to have them think I slept with you."

He smiled, seductively. "Well, it would only add to my record."

I rolled my eyes. "Was that supposed to turn me on? Because I think womanizing is a major turn _off_."

"Mm, and I would bet money that you're a virgin who is intimidated by my bad boy charm."

"Bad boy charm? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?"

"But you never answered my question." He said. He stared deep into my eyes and I felt my bones go week.

"That's because you never asked one." I said.

"Ah, but I did. I technically asked if you were a virgin."

"Technically. That's not literal and therefore I don't have to answer." I said matter-of-factly.

He smiled. "Alright. I'll just assume the worst then."

"And that is?" I asked, annoyed. Him and his threats.

Another smile. "That you _are_ a slut."

I sighed. "Well, I'm not. Nor am I a virgin."

He raised his eyebrows. "_Really?_ Then how many men have you slept with?"

"One." I said. I remembered the first time I had lost my virginity. It was the very reason I came here. My mother caught us in the act. I didn't love the kid. I was just a little _too_ drunk, and my mother freaked out. She sent me here to get a fresh start.

"Hmm. One? Do you want to make that two?" He asked, wagging his eyebrows at me. My body screamed yes. I wasn't a slut. Not at all. But I also couldn't deny that I wasn't turned on by this kid.

He was tall and lean, with a lot of muscle. It wasn't the big, football player kind. It was more stringy and thin. It fit his body type. His jaw was square and very defined. His nose was perfectly strait and his lips were red and very full. His hair was untidy but just the right length to run your fingers through. It wasn't too long but it wasn't too short. It came down just in front of his eyes. And his eyes. Oh...my...gosh. His eyes were like emeralds. They were vibrant green and sparkled. His voice was low and seductive.

Did I want to have sex with this boy?

Yes.

"I think I'll pass." I muttered, glancing back down at my notebook. My body was screaming at me.

"Too bad. You look good enough to eat." He said. I felt his fingers dance across the skin of my right hand. It send a physical jolt of desire threw me and my body was reacting in ways it shouldn't have been.

"Tell you what." I said, before I pounced on him in the middle of the school library. "You let me do my homework, and I'll let you do yours."

He smiled. "I don't feel like doing homework any more. I got distracted."

"More like hard." I muttered under my breath.

He chuckled like he heard me and then continued on his work despite himself. When I was sure he was busy I glanced up at him. I took in his perfect features once...again. Another time.

Ah, fuck. I really needed to stop, or I would find myself in the last position as before...

***

I woke to yet _another_ dreadfully rainy day. I sighed. More school. My dad was pissed enough about the stupid detention, and when he heard about Edward getting me the detention, he called Edward's dad, Carlisle. Carlisle Cullen was the town's infamous doctor. Who the hell knows why he choose this town when he could work anywhere else on the face of the planet. Dr. Cullen was not happy with his son and promised my father that he would speak to Edward.

Well, shit. I hadn't meant to get him in trouble, I just didn't want to get myself in trouble. Oh well, what goes around comes around I guess.

Edward had it coming.

I sighed, I did _not_ want to think about that amazingly hot boy. Even absent, he had a strong affect over me. I sighed.

I got up out of bed and got ready, moving like a slug. I really dreaded school. I wasn't very good at it. I still hadn't even finished my biology homework.

I sighed again.

***

"Uh, hey, Dad, anything good happening today?" I asked timidly. My dad wasn't exactly pleased with me at the moment.

He looked up at me and glared. "You're lucky I didn't ground you. I hear that Cullen boy is a real trouble maker. You stay away from him, Bella, I mean it. Your mother would kill me if you got yourself in the same position as last time."

I grumbled under my breath. No one would _ever_ let me forget that would they?

"When exactly did that happen?" Charlie asked, not letting the subject drop.

"Dad, that is none of your business." I muttered, grabbing a granola bar.

"_Excuse _me?" Charlie fumed, glaring at me. I glared back, but gave in not in the mood to fight with him.

"Two months ago. As soon as Mom was sure I wasn't pregant," I rolled my eyes, remembering that we were being safe, "She sent me here. In this delightful town full of delightful people."

He puffed his chest like a snobby rich person and said, "These are good people, Bells. They do the right thing. Most of them anyway."

I knew he was referring to Edward and I didn't want that conversation to start up again.

I sighed, waving at my father and walking towards the door, when Charlie stopped me. "Bella, you know I love you, it's just..." he sighed, searching for the right words, "I just don't want to see you get hurt."

I looked into my father's eyes and saw nothing but the truth. I really did love my father. "I know, Dad, you know I love you, too. But I have to get to school, so I'll see you tonight." He smiled at me and hugged me before walking over to his cruiser. I waved at him from my own truck, smiling to myself.

***

I got to school early. Figures. I sighed and jumped out, pulling out my Biology homework. Ah, shit I didn't have any idea of how to do it. I grumbled to my self for about five minutes when a low musical voice nearly scared the shit out of me. "Need some help with that?"

I glanced up, already knowing who it was, and sighed. "Are you following me?" I asked annoyed. Why did Edward keep showing up in my life.

"Possibly, but that would make me a stalker and I'm not."

"You make no sense." I muttered, glaring at him.

He smiled. "I get that a lot. My brilliance confuses people."

"So you have book smarts, the way you act in school, makes me think you're _not_ so smart...and that you are _below_ the influence. Good luck straitening that one out."

He snorted. "Mm, book smarts, it's more than some people have, I'll say that much...so do you need help or not?"

I glanced down. "Oh, whatever. You're not going to try anything on me, are you?"

His smile turned seductive. "Always."

I rolled my eyes. "So question one." I handed him the book.

He glanced at the book for one second, then glancing back up at me with a mystified expression. "Come on."

"What?"

"Are you _serious?_" He asked. His face was incredulous. He sighed. "It's mitosis. You know the phases of _cells._" He was staring at me like I was some kind of bug.

"Well, we all can't be as smart as you." I muttered, writing down the answer.

He rolled his eyes, "I learned that in 7th grade!"

"Well, I didn't." I retorted, getting annoyed again.

He chuckled. "Obviously."

I muttered something unintelligible under my breath. "Next?"

"Uh, you have got to be kidding. Anaphase!"

I glared. "Enough with the theatrics and more with the answers."

He smiled, "I can't help thinking that you are a moron."

I clenched my teeth. "Next question."

He stared into my eyes for a long time, as if he was searching for something. Finally he uttered, "Prophase. It's time for class."

I glanced around noticing that people were heading to their classes now. I saw some girls glance at Edward and then to me with hostile expressions.

"So _how_ many girls have you been with at this school?"

"Umm...." He thought for a moment, thinking to himself, "Jeez, I don't know...all the hot ones, with two exceptions."

I raised my eyebrows. Holy...shit. "And those girls are?"

"You and Angela. You I'm still trying to get with, and Angela is pretty hot...but she's...kind of the goody-goody type." He rolled his eyes. "I don't _do _the innocent. Well...innocent in the mind. Bodily innocence in a woman is -"

"Okay, so I'm going to go to class." I muttered, shaking my head. What ever was going on in that boy's head was seriously screwed up.

He chuckled, grabbing my arm as I stood up. "I _will_ be with you. You'll come crawling into my arms soon enough."

He wasn't wrong about that, but I didn't let him see. I looked him over as if I was checking him out...which I was...and muttered, "We'll see about that."

"See you at lunch. I'll save you a seat."

He squeezed my ass and walked off. I stared off in his direction for a long time...day dreaming.

Stop!

Don't fall in love with a player, Bella.

***

The rest of the day went by like a dream. I think it had something to do with the fact that I spent the entire time day-dreaming about Edward. Then I got to Trig...

"Hey, you're Isabella, right?" A very perky dark brown haired girl asked me.

I sighed. "It's just Bella...and you are?" I asked, trying to sound polite.

"Oh, I'm Jessica Stanley. It's really nice to meet you." I could hear the falseness behind her words. She just wanted to show the new girl off to the rest of the world. All the guys were checking me out, and she wanted a taste of it.

I tried hard to hide my smirk. "Yeah, same here."

I looked back down at my math book, trying to nicely give her signs that I wasn't interested in being used by this bitch. I glanced over in time to see her plop down in the seat next to me.

Damn! That girl is dumber than Hannah Montana.

I sighed.

Can't she take a hint?

"Sorry, I didn't introduce myself yesterday, I was busy doing stuff."

Uh, what kind of stuff? But I bit my tongue, best not to start things.

"Ummm, that's okay, don't trouble yourself." I muttered _not _in the mood to talk anymore. Please just let me daydream about fucking Edward Cullen. My body reacted at the mere thought.

"So you and Edward are getting close, huh?" Where did that come from?

I looked over at her mystified. Was _this_ her primary objective then? To get to Edward? I'd have to ask him later if Jessica was one of the many girls he screwed.

"Excuse me? Are you talking about the prick? Oh yeah, he is trying to get in pants. Won't leave me alone." I muttered glancing down at my math book.

"Well, you should stay away from him." She sounded a little too demanding. Had the bitch marked her territory? Jeez, why didn't she just take a piss on him and growl at any one who came close?

Oh, fuck her. Please leave me alone.

"I think I can tell who to stay away from and who to hang with...thanks." That marked the end of the conversation. I watched her get up and plop down in a seat next to some guy. His blonde hair was gelled down and he was scrawny looking. No muscle what so ever. Just like I had absolutely no attraction to him.

I raised my eyebrows as the bitch called Jessica flirted like a little whore with him. Slut, much?

I rolled my eyes and glanced down at my trig book, and wished desperately that trig was over...

***

Lunch was just the thing I was and was _not_ looking forward to. Jeez, I was fucking screwed up...

I sighed quietly.

"Hey, sexy." I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard Edward's smooth voice from behind me.

I spun to face him, "Oh, it's _you_." I sneered and turned back to the register. I handed the lady some money and smiled at her.

I felt something grab my elbow. I couldn't deny the shock that shot threw me. Uh, why the hell did his touch give me chills?

"Sit with us." He prompted.

My forehead creased. "Us?"

"Yeah, my brother and sister. And their love interests." I saw him role his eyes a the last part.

"Oh, whatever. Hey, I wanted to ask you something." I said.

He raised his eyebrows. "Okay...?"

"Did you screw the um...Jessica girl?" I asked.

He grimaced looking disgusted. "Uh, it was the worst fuck I think I had ever experienced in my life...then she followed me around for like five moths before finally getting the hint. Was there a reason behind your question?" He asked, confused. His face still looked a little disgusted.

"Uh, yeah, and thanks you just cleared up my confusion. Apparently she staked her claim on you." I rolled my eyes at the thought. He burst out laughing as he sat down at a table with some other gorgeous people. In fact _all_ the good looking people at the school were sitting at this table.

"Wow...that was..." he thought for a minute. "A little less than a year ago." Then he leaned across the table as if he cared that the other kids at the table could hear him. Though none of them were paying any attention to him. "She is psychopath."

I giggled, rather enjoying the close proximity to his amazing face. His breath was very, very sweet, and it made my bones jiggle. I shifted my weight a little. I saw him arch an eyebrow as he realized what I was doing.

A _very _smug smile broke across his face. I rolled my eyes. This _wasn't _an invitation into my pants.

I picked an apple and nibbled on it. A very large muscular kid leaned over towards Edward and said, "So, Eddie, are you going to introduce us to your little..._friend_?"

I raised my eyebrows as he emphasized friend. What the hell was _that _supposed to mean?

Edward glared at his brother. "Emmett, _how_ many times do I have to tell you, do NOT call me that!"

Emmett rolled his eyes and looked at me and smiled very warmly. "Hi, you must be Bella. I'm Ed_ward's_ big brother, Emmett."

I giggled, "Hey, Emmett. Nice to meet you." He smiled warmly.

"I'm Alice," said a very perky little black-haired girl. She was extremely skinny with barely any meat on her bones. I glanced at the plate in front of her. Vegetables.

"Hi, Alice." I said, smiling at her.

She flashed a pair of shiny white teeth.

"This is Jasper and Rosalie Hale." Edward said gesturing to a pair of blonde haired kids. They looked _very_ much alike. I smiled warmly at them.

"Nice to meet you, Bella." They said in unison.

Edward introduced me the rest of the kids at the table. When he was finished, Alice burst out, saying, "Oh, Bella, we _have_ to go shopping. How about tomorrow? It's a Saturday, and I'm not doing anything!"

Actually, shopping sounded like a shit-load of fun. I smiled widely, "That would be great! What time?" I had a feeling I would really like Alice.

"Um...well, I go to the gym till 10:00 and then I got to get ready...so how about 12?" She asked perkily.

"That's perfect."

"Hey, you girls mind if I come, too?" Rosalie asked, her eyes brightening.

Alice and I smiled, "Of course, Rose!" Alice said. Rosalie's eyes brightened further.

"Thanks!"

"Okay, while the 'girl's gang' goes to the mall, we are officially going out." Emmett declared.

Edward and Jasper groaned. "Only if you let us pick this time. Emmett, no offence, but the last time we hung out without the girls, it was hell." Edward muttered.

"Yeah, Oh, God! That was horrible! I mean, seriously, Emmett! How could you take us too -" Jasper started and then Emmett glared him into silence.

"Oh, whatever, you guys can choose." Emmett said.

Edward smiled deviously at them. "Excellent."

I rolled my eyes, not wanting to know what they were planning.


	2. Biology Baby!

Chapter 2: Biology Baby!

We made our way to Biology class, Edward and I. The friction and tension I felt and knew he did too, was wearing on me. I wouldn't be able to resist his "bad boy charm" for much longer. Just his scent and appearance was making me hot. This would be a difficult class. I sighed.

Edward sat down in his seat pulling out his notebook. I watched him flip threw many pages of homework that looked much too advanced and rip out five pages of work. He sighed and brought it up to the teacher.

"Ah, Mr. Cullen, so you decided to bring in your homework? I should give you a detention more often." Mr. Varner sounded like a prick when he was being triumphant.

I could almost see Edward rolling his eyes. "Well, actually my father says I had better bulk up if I want to keep my life. Regardless, we all know what an ass you are." The cockiness in his voice almost made me burst out laughing. He did _not _just say that to a teacher!?

My respect for this boy was definitely growing smaller by the minute...but he turned me on even more. Jeez...what the hell was wrong with me?

"Excuse me!?" Mr. Varner demanded jumping up out his seat.

"I'm sure you damn well heard me! If you don't like the lack of respect, maybe you should start showing me some!" He spat back.

I raised my eyebrows. Well...

"DETENTION! And I think you will be paying a visit to Mr. Greene!"

Even though he had his back to me, I could see the back of his jaw clench.

"Fuck. You." He said, turning on his heal and walking back to his seat to grab his books.

I watched his eyes carefully. He looked livid.

"Mr. Cullen, you had better learn to control that mouth of your or it will get you expelled!"

"Like I care!" Edward shouted. The rest of the class was deeply involved now, listening and watching with raised, incredulous eyebrows.

"Well, if you want to get into an ivy league college, then you had better shut it!" Edward's back straightened and everyone was staring at him with surprised and very amused expression. "With your grades you could be in college already."

Everyone's eyes widened incredulously. Edward glanced around the room, uncomfortable. Well, secret blown.

Edward stormed from the room, furious.

The rest of the class went by slowly. At the very end Edward came back in the room, looking very disgruntled.

I glanced back down at my notebook, secretly keeping track of the conversation up front.

"Mr. Cullen, I can't have you being such a disturbance in my class. I would like to inform you that I am calling your father and requesting a meeting with him about your behavior." I glanced up at Edward in time to see his face turn absolutely bone white. He looked sick to his stomach and didn't say anything.

Strange reaction...

"Also, I would like you to tutor one of my students. It may help you with your behavior problems. I am not leaving this choice up to you. This is a demand. However, I will not make you serve a detention."

Edward glared at Mr. Varner. He took a deep breath and murmured, "Who?"

I was surprised by how calm his voice was and even more surprised at Mr. Varner's next words. "The chief of police, Mr. Swan, called me today requesting for a tutor for his daughter. He mentioned that Miss Swan had a hard time in Biology."

I felt my face turn red. Mr. Varner turned to look at me...as did every one else in the classroom. Mr. Varner waved me forward and I cursed silently as I stood up, slowly making my way up to the front of the classroom.

"Miss Swan, I believe you know Mr. Cullen?"

I nodded curtly, glancing at Edward. His eyes were adverted away from me and his fists were clenched; his knuckles strained against the skin of his hand. It looked as though the bones would break his flesh. What was his problem?

"Well, that's good. He is your new tutor. Class dismissed."

Edward turned to look at me. The expression on his face was one of complete fear. My forehead creased, and he merely shook his head.

Nodding, I made my way back to our table. As I stuffed my books into my backpack, I felt Edward's eyes on me. I turned around, confused and caught him staring at my ass.

Typical...

I ignored him and slung my backpack over my shoulder.

"Are you ready?" He asked. I glanced at him.

"For what exactly?" I asked, timidly.

"Tutoring." He said. A _very_ naughty thought sparked in my head.

A slow smile broke across my face. "Tutoring in which subject?" I bit my lip.

He raised his eye brows, then his own smile broke across his face. Only his was much more naughty then mine, and from that smile I knew he had much more experience in this area then I had given him credit for. Just his smile was panty dropping. And there was definitely something going on with my panties. Was it hot in here or was it just me?

"Biology...the study of both the structure and functions of the human body." He murmured. His expression turned from naughty to outright bad boy. And I realized in that second what he meant by "bad boy charm." "You know, I can think of some _very_ helpful experiments for our 'lesson' for today." I watched his eyebrows wag a little. I bit my lip.

"Hmmm....Experiments, huh?" I asked nonchalantly. I could also think of some experiments that would help me understand the body functions of one human in particular.

A plan began to form in my head.

"So, I ask again...are you ready? Because I sure as hell am." Edward said, his voice turning slightly desperate. I guess he was sick of my teasing.

Little did he know what was coming for him next.

"Oh, Edward Cullen, I don't think I've ever been _more_ ready for tutoring than I am right now." I said, seductively. We were in the hallway by now and the rest of the kids in school were ignoring us.

"Excellent." That reminded me of our conversation at lunch.

"So, um Edward?" I asked, timidly. Trying to flirt with him a little. Experiment number one. Let's see how much he would do to get into a girl's pants...I decided to start with something simple...

"What's up?" He asked, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.

I batted my eyelashes a little as we stepped out into the parking lot and headed for his car. "What was it that Emmett did that was so bad?"

He chuckled. "Oh...Fuck, it was awful. I don't even know how he did it, but he snuck us into a night club on my seventeenth birthday, three months ago. I had told him that he owed me big time. For my 16th birthday, he gave me a pet lizard. It bit me. Well, actually it almost took my finger off, because Emmett was being stupid - as per usual -" he chuckled and continued after his slight laughter died down, "He shoved the stupid lizard in my face. I, instinctively, reached up to shove it away. Uh, that was when it nearly took my finger off. And I mean that more literally than you can imagine," He lifted up his left hand, and right under his fingernail on his pointing finger was a large scare. It circled around almost all of the top of his finger. I flinched.

"Ouch." I muttered.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Tell me about it. Brothers are so stupid. So anyway, I spent the rest of my birthday in the ER, with my father bent over my hand, practically sewing my finger back on. I actually can't feel anything from here to here." He pointed to the top of his finger and then ran his other finger down the side of his, landing about half-way up his finger. "The stupid lizard cut off most of the nerves in my pointing finger." He sighed, and then thought for a second. "Actually, I still have the lizard. His name his chomps." Edward chuckled, "Alice came up with that. All right so back to the story. Emmett, Jasper, and I were wandering around the club and made some...friends, I suppose. They agreed to by us drinks if we gave them a joint." I raised my eyebrows. He shrugged and continued with the story. "We got really drunk...and I do mean _really _drunk. I mean I can barely remember what happened, I was so drunk. So anyway, we started acting like fools, naturally, and we all got into a fight with some guy named Adam and his three buddies. Three on four...it wasn't a really fair fight. Especially since we were a lot younger than he was...but we deserved it. We were flirting with the wrong girls...so anyway, the seven of us got thrown out and we continued fighting outside the bar. Eventually, it got so bad, that the cops came. They, obviously, tested us for alcohol, and we were completely wasted. Well, the cops took us to some police station in Port Angeles - there aren't any night clubs in Forks - and we called Carlisle to pick us up. As you can imagine, my dad was absolutely thrilled that he had to pick his sons and friend's son up from the police station. Not even mentioning the fact that he had to pay a $150 fine...per person." Edward chuckled, as he unlocked the doors to a really nice Volvo. Without seeming to think about it, he walked over to the passenger's side and opened the door for me. I hesitated and stepped in.

"You're not under the influence now, are you?" I asked sarcastically.

He sat down in the drivers side next to me and rolled his eyes. "I'll let you taste my breath, if you're so nervous." He murmured, leaning over the seat slightly, with a very tempting smile on his face.

"Hmm..." I muttered, leaning towards him and very carefully running my lips across his. He tasted...oh...my...God...so fucking good. My body immediately reacted in a _very_ womanly way, and I wanted more. I let my tongue lick across his lower lip. I felt him shiver slightly as his body became more involved in the kiss. My lacy thong started to feel wet and I was surprised at how immediately he could make me feel aroused. I felt his hands grip my hair, and my own moved to his hair. My hand fisted tightly around his messy bronze curls and I felt his hand slide lower. I wanted to moan as his hand squeezed my breast lightly, but I wouldn't give him that pleasure. Hmm...experiment number two. I reached down quickly, without giving him warning and rubbed the straining bulge in his pants. He jumped slightly and a little yelp escaped his lips.

I giggled and pulled away from him, licking my lips. "Looks like you got a problem there." I said, pointing to his crotch.

He glared, "Want to help me?"

I smiled. This was easier than I'd thought... "Well, smarty is coming, and uh, judging by your..._amazing _stories, he'd give us a little grief if he caught us..." I leaned closer to him until our lips were almost touching. "Well, _me _riding you until your dick fell off." Once again, I rubbed my hand against his crotch.

A little groan escaped his lips. "Fuck, Bella, I'm going to teach you to control your mouth...and hands."

I smiled tauntingly. "I have perfect control...maybe I should teach your dick how to wait..."

"Fuck!" He said, shoving the keys in the engine.

I giggled and watched the big and burley Emmett walk over to a large jeep with a horny looking Rosalie strapped to his waist. He glanced over at us and smiled, wagging his eyebrows. I smiled back and waved, wiggling my fingers. Emmett shook his and laughed and pulled Rosalie into the jeep.

"Ready for _Biology,_ Mr. Cullen?"

His eyes narrowed, "Oh, God, yes."

I smiled, showing my teeth. "Good. Let the lessons begin then." I meant that more literally thank he could ever imagine.

***

He pulled up into my driveway a few minutes later. The car ride had been free of talking and we just sat listening to the radio. I had discovered that our music taste was very different. Edward seemed to prefer the heavier rock shit and I liked more hip hop type music.

Hmm...well, not every one is perfect.

"All right, now, let's get this over with." Edward muttered, opening his door.

"Let's." I agreed.

I hoped out, grabbing my bag and walked over to the door and unlocking it quickly. I heard his footsteps as he followed me into the kitchen and I threw my bag on the table.

I turned to face him. "I have to go upstairs and change, I'll be right back."

His lips twitched, "May I help you with that?"

"Hmm..." My eyes narrowed as I pretended to consider it. "I think..." I said, walking closer to him, "That _you_," I grabbed his shirt pulling him closer to me, "Should be patient." I brought my knee up slowly, caressing the inside of his thigh with my own. I moved my leg up higher, rubbing the top of my leg against his crotch.

He dropped his head down, breathing heavily. "God, Bella...do you really think I can be patient when you're teasing me like this?" Damn, he sounded sexy when his voice was husky.

"Yep," I popped the "p" with my lips seductively. He shook his head at me, his eyes narrowing.

I smiled, "What's the matter, babe?" My leg pressed tighter against his groin.

"Oh, God..." He moaned, closing his eyes.

Yeah, baby, I really am starting to like these "experiments." I slide my leg back to the ground and turned and walked up the stairs...feeling his eyes on my face....

Smiling to myself, I walked up to my room, shutting, _and locking_, my door. I wanted to make this look good. _Really _good.

I opened my closet door, poking around until I found something.

"Perfect." I purred to myself. I stripped myself quickly and threw on the black and _very _lacy underwear. Over that I put on a hot pink tank top. It went so low across my chest that the top of my lacy black bra was showing. I smiled, looking for something to put on my legs.

I found a pair of black booty shorts that had "Phoenix Union High School" across the butt in big white letters. I chuckled as I looked at my backside in the mirror. The shorts were so short that my tank top almost covered them completely. Perfect...

I bounded down the stairs bare footed and saw him sitting with his feet up on the kitchen table. He took one look at me and rolled his eyes.

"Isabella Swan...you really are trying to kill me." Edward said, taking his feet off the table and opening a book.

I giggled and sat down. "I don't know what you mean."

"So your father, _Chief Swan_, isn't going to care if he sees you like that?" He asked, honestly curious.

I smiled, "Like what?"

He rolled his eyes. "What time is Daddy coming home, baby?"

"He's sleeping at Billy Blacks." I bit my lip. "He won't be back till late tomorrow."

He smiled naughty again. Oh, God...there's _that _smile again. "Oh...hmm..."

"Don't get any ideas...your sister is coming to pick me up at noon tomorrow and I think she'd notice if you weren't at home."

"Well, if I make it quick, then I could be back at my house in no time." He purred, looking over my body.

I leaned over the table, hooding my eyelids. "Where's the fun in that?"

He smiled, "Baby, I'm the hit and run type."

I giggled. "So you are...but even _you _have to admit, taking your time feels a _hell_ of a lot better."

"Mmm..." was all he said.

He was flipping threw the pages of his biology book, looking for cell-structure. After a few minutes he glanced up at me.

"Page 236."

I opened it quickly, and looked at him, waiting.

He gave my body another look before continuing on my lesson. He was very good at teaching, and I actually found myself interested in the things he was telling me. After he helped me finish my homework, we started talking. It was strange...we actually had a lot in common, behind the desire to fuck each other of course...He was actually very funny...in a good way.

"So what's your favorite color?" I asked, curious. He raised an eyebrow.

"Really...my favorite color?" He asked incredulous.

"Yeah, I'm curious." I said, smiling.

He smiled slightly, "Black."

I rolled my eyes, "Typical...guys always pick black, blue, or red."

"Some guys like pink and purple." He said.

I opened my mouth to comment, but thought better of it.

"So what's your favorite color then?" He asked.

"Umm...I have no idea...it depends on what I wear...so either hot pink, black, white...or green."

His forehead creased, "You're not wearing green."

I smiled, "Well...that _you _can see."

He swallowed loudly. "Huh..._green?_ You never struck me as the green thong type."

I smiled, "It has green _in _it." He raised his eyebrows.

"What color is it really then?" He asked, leaning over the table slightly. He look intrigued.

"I can show you if you want." I said, smiling.

His eyes narrowed and a smile broke over his face. "I'd like that."

"Of _course _you would." But I stood up, yanking him off his chair and grabbing his hand.

He followed willingly.

Once inside my room, I pushed him down so that he was sitting on my bed. I took a few steps back away from him, and very..._very_ slowly pulled the tiny shorts off. I kicked them in the corner of the room, and pulled my shirt up under my chest.

His eyes popped wide and his mouth fell open a little.

I pouted teasingly. "You don't like it." I turned around and opened my closet, pretending to be looking for something else. I heard him groan.

And then his arms were around me and his lips were against my neck. "Your right...it covers too much." He whispered. Yeah, right! It barely covered anything.

He pulled my shirt off throwing it across the room. And his hands ran down my stomach, towards the thong.

He kissed down my neck to my shoulders, down my back, and along my spine.

My breathing was coming heavier, I fought to stay in control.

His hands were on my hips now, and my knees were getting weak. I wouldn't be able to stand much more of this.

I grabbed his hands, pulling them off my hips and stepping foreword into my closet. I turned and went to grab his shirt. He grabbed my wrists and pushed me back farther into my closet until my back slammed against the wall. I threw my head back against the wall, yelping a little.

He grabbed my hips again and shoved me tight against his body. I reached down grabbing the hem of his shirt and ripped it off throwing it to the ground. I ran my fingers over his warm and shapely body. I couldn't believe how amazingly fit he was...

I reached for his jeans, but he grabbed my arms and pinned them high over my head.

Smiling deviously I dragged my leg up his again. I saw his eyes rolling into the back of his head. I licked my lips and arched my back, begging.

He just smiled at me and shook his head. "Not yet...I thought I needed to be _patient_."

Damn! How the hell did I let this backfire!?

I groaned, begging him again. I could take no more of this.

"What's wrong, babe? You look a little up tight." He shifted my wrists into one of hand and the other ran over the skin of my nearly naked breasts.

I glared at him, "You know what I want."

He smiled, "And what is that? Let me hear you say it."

I didn't want to - saying it was like giving up control, but I wanted him more, "Fuck me, please!"

He pushed himself tighter against me. Not even air could come between us. He was killing me...

His lips dragged over my neck, parting slightly. I moaned when his tongue flicked out and ran over the skin of my neck. He ripped off my bra quickly, throwing it behind him. His lips moved down my neck to my chest, slowly making his way to my breast. When his lips found my nipple, he made the mistake of letting go of my hands. I grabbed his hair with one hand and cupped his crotch in the other. He groaned loudly and my hand started to rub against his dick.

As if to return the favor, his hand slid down my stomach to the opening between my thighs and began teasing me. His fingers danced along my clit, but wouldn't enter me.

I wanted his fingers in me! As if to urge him on I unbuttoned his jeans, wrapping my both hands around his member. Holy shit! He was big..._really _big! I moaned as I imagined what it would feel like to ride him.

He lifted his head from my breasts, groaning as he did so and crushed his lips to mine. Our tongue danced together as he pulled my panties down. As soon as they were on the ground, I wrapped my legs tightly around his hips. His fingers slipped between us, rubbing my clit with his thumb and finally entering me with two fingers. He slid in and out and I could feel my climax approaching.

I threw my head back, "Fuck!"

And it happened. My walls tightened around his fingers and I released. I was gasping quietly but I still wasn't done with him yet. I wanted to feel his cock sliding in and out of my body...and I wanted it _now!_

I threw his pants and boxers to the ground and he kicked off his shoes.

I groaned loudly as I saw his _entire_ nakedness...he was so fucking amazing!

Edward smiled deviously as he pulled his hips back, angling his _very_ erected cock on the entrance of my haven.

And then he plunged into me, giving me no warning. I threw my head back against the wall, gasping and moaning...cursing and begging.

This sex was amazing! Sure I'd only had sex once before this, but even that was pretty good. Now, it was pale in comparison and I knew that no matter where I looked, I would never find _anyone_ who could top this!

I grabbed his shoulders, clutching him closer as he thrust into me. Pounding against my body at a furious pace...pushing farther...farther...farther!

His own moans were filling the closet we were still in. My body tightened again, and he groaned loudly.

"Fuck! Bella, oh shit, Bella!" He moaned, burring his face against my shoulder, pushing harder...harder...harder.

"Uh, Edward, yes!" I screamed as my body released for him for the second time. His own release came shortly after mine, and he emptied his cum into me.

And then I froze...that's not good. Oh, shit! He forgot...But before I could say anything his phone rang.

"Shit," he said breathlessly as he pulled out of me. Once my feet were on the ground I began gathering up my close and his as well.

I can't believe myself! How the hell could I be so stupid!? I wasn't on the pill and he _definitely_ didn't have a condom on...oh, SHIT!

_Okay, Bella, calm down...it'll be okay. You get your period in what, a week? Yeah, you'll be okay_. I took a deep breath and let my mind calm myself, if not for a few hours. Worst comes to worse I'll..._what? I'll what!?_ I sure as hell didn't believe in abortion. It was wrong on so many levels!

But..._no,_ I will not think of this now. I wasn't even pregnant. I just had sex. I was okay, yeah.

"Hello?" Edward asked breathlessly into his phone as he pulled his jeans on. I got dressed myself and walked out of the closet, sitting on my bed. "Oh, hey, Alice, what's up?" I sighed and plopped back on my bed so that I was lying down and my head was on the pillow. Edward stepped out of the closet fully dressed with his phone attached to his ear.

"What!?" He asked, his eyes widening.

I was now fully involved in the one sided conversation. "What did he say!?" Edward demanded, sitting on the edge of the bed. I sat up and crawled over to him, running my fingers threw his hair. He leaned into my hand without seeming to think about it. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pulling him back into my arms, letting his head rest on my chest. He sighed, his face clouded in fear and tension.

"I hate him." He said quietly. I tightened my arms around him and buried my face in his hair. "Fine, tell him I'll be home in a minute." I wondered what was wrong, and I idly pulled my fingers threw his messy hair. It was in an even wilder disarray from our previous activity.

Just sitting there with him, pulling my fingers threw his hair, it was...strange...like I there was more between us then we had been showing. My heart throbbed in my chest, singing to him, _loving_ him...

I froze internally, keeping my fingers moving threw his hair not letting him feel the sudden tension in my body. I couldn't be falling in-love with him. I'd get my heart broken...boys like him...they didn't stick with one girl...they didn't get whipped. He even said so himself, he was the and run type.

I watched him hang up the phone and slid it back in his pocket. "Shit..." he whispered quietly. His body relaxed into my arms as my fingers slipped threw his hair, over and over. He seemed to like that.

"What's wrong?" I asked quietly, surprised that I was so comfortable with him.

"Mmm, Mr. Varner called my dad...So my dad is freaking out right now and Alice says he is ready to kill me...and now I have to go, sorry." Then he turned to face me, smiling seductively, "Same time Monday?"

I smiled back, so he was still interested then? "Well, I still don't know too much about Biology, so I guess so."

His grin widened, and he kissed me lightly on the lips. He pulled away at first but then leaned back in and kissed me again...and again...and another time. I giggled as he pushed me back on the bed.

"No, Edward, you need to go." I said, but clutched him tighter. He nodded and kissed me again.

"Right..." He whispered, running his tongue along my bottom lip.

"Edward," I scolded. He smiled, and ran his fingers up under my shirt.

"Five more minutes," He begged, his fingers moving higher. I struggled to keep a moan from slipping threw my lips.

"No, Edward, you'll never leave." I giggled. He sighed.

"Fine, fine, fine." He said as I pushed him up into a sitting position.

"So I though you were the hit and run type?" I asked, nonchalantly, but I was honestly curious.

He smiled, "After sex like _that_...I'd be stupid to let it go."

I giggled, "Okay, so go get grounded and I'll see you Monday."

He chuckled and shook his head. He kissed me one last time and then left.

Waiting until I heard his car pull out of the driveway, I collapsed back on the bed, smiling to myself.

Well, worst comes to worst he'll move on, but at least I got some more time with him. I rolled over and fell asleep, utterly and completely exhausted...I'd never been worked so hard in my life....


	3. Author's Note

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Author's Note~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey guys!! So it's been what? Three months since my last post?? Well, I apologize for that. Ironically enough I have the entire story written up until almost the end. However, most of the reviews I have been getting are nice, but a lot of you are VERY opposed to Bella getting Prego…

So to be honest, I'm just going to tell you now that Bella does become pregnant, and if you don't like it then sorry! I'm not going to change over a hundred pages of writing just to change this VERY important detail.

Unfortunately, this story isn't as fluffy as the first two chapters make it seem. It is darker then what has happened. If you don't like these kinds of stories, I advise you stop reading. It isn't graphic at all, but if you don't like child abuse or attempted suicide - yeah…ATTEMPTED, key word - then again, please stop reading, and don't be mean. I'm really sorry if you were all expecting this to be fun and light, but me and my twisted mind always finds a way to make the happiest story be depressing and dark.

Again, I'm sorry for any confusion or disappointed you may fell, but I figured, I should inform you all of this before I began posting again.

For those of you still interested in reading I'm hoping to get together a posting schedule. Nothings certain yet, but I'm planning on it, yay!!

:)

~Victoria!~


	4. Fucktastic

Chapter 3, Fuck-tastic

Groggily, I opened my eyes. _What time is it?_ I thought to myself.

Glancing at the clock, I cursed loudly and jumped out of bed. Uh, oh...It was eleven o'clock in the morning.

As if I had a hangover, I struggled to remember what had happened the night before. After Edward left - leaving me with the best memories of my entire life - I had fallen asleep. I'd woken up about an hour later and ate dinner...then what happened? Ah, now I remember...I had found a six pack of bud-light and went a little crazy. Chuckling, to myself I made my way to the bathroom to get ready for Alice's arrival. That's why I had a hang over.

Well, I guess you can have a party of one, and it doesn't have to be a pity party.

Hope Charlie doesn't go looking for that beer, or I'm screwed.

And then I remembered something...Edward and the little stunt he pulled in the closet...fuck!

Sure, the sex was _amazing_, but it wouldn't have been worth it if a little critter was growing in my body. Hell, I wasn't the mommy type...I mean, my _own_ mommy wasn't the mommy type...

I sighed, brushing my hair slowly...I really hated hangovers...

Stupid Edward Cullen, being stupid and careless and...UH!!!

I trudged out of the bathroom slamming the doors on the way. In my room, I meticulously got ready to go out to the mall. Once I was satisfied with my fuck-me appearance, I grabbed some Tylenol and lay on the couch for a while day dreaming about the masterpiece himself...God he was dreamy...even he _was _annoying…

EPOV

I sighed loudly, pulling into the driveway of my over-sized five story house...three flours, a basement, and an attic, all of which were finished and very sophisticated. I took a deep breath, bracing myself for the scolding that was sure to come...I shuddered...I hope Carlisle hadn't been drinking today...hell, I didn't want to think about what had happened the last time...

I shuddered, stepping out of the car and made my way up the steps.

The door flew open and there stood a very angry _Dr_. Carlisle Cullen. "What the hell is wrong with you!?" He demanded.

I clenched my teeth. Every since my mom died...he hasn't been the same person. He hated me...all of us...

"I don't know what you're talking about...it's not I like I can read minds..." I said, trudging passed him. He grabbed the back of my shirt pulling me back to face him. I tripped and nearly fell on my ass. I turned to look at him with a hate-filled expression.

"Don't get smart with me, Edward. You know _damn_ well what I am talking about!" He shoved me against the wall. I clenched my teeth again. For the past year I had been working on keeping my fear hidden from my father.

"Mr. Varner hates me!" I said, desperate to keep my life...I wasn't kidding when I said that my father threatened my life.

"Well, he had reason to doesn't he!?" Carlisle demanded.

I swallowed loudly, "I'm sorry, he just got me mad! I-I lost my temper! I'm sorry, please!" I stammered, desperate.

Without warning his fist smacked hard against my face at the same instant that he let go of me.

I stumbled to the ground, clutching my face, where his wedding ring had snagged the skin. The cut was just over my eye, in my eyebrow and the blood pored down my face. I looked at my hand, confused at first, and then felt a little light headed. Relief passed threw me...that could have ripped my eye out...

"Get up." My father commanded, "Take it like a man."

I clenched my teeth and stood, feeling a little dizzy. I just looked at my father with one eye...the other was being drenched in a downpour of my own blood and it was a little swollen from the impact.

"Are you going to fix this, _doctor?_" I sneered. I really should learn to keep my mouth shut.

His eyes narrowed and he took a step closer to me, "What did you just say?"

"You heard me." I said calmly. He shoved me against the wall again, his face clouded in total fury.

"Stop it!" Emmett said. Alice appeared around the corner looking at me with a scared expression. Carlisle dropped me and stepped back, glaring at Emmett and Alice.

"Don't you two have something you should be doing?" He asked, quietly. I watched in disgust as he smoothed his black hair down, acting like nothing happened.

"Yeah," Emmett said, "looking out for my little brother."

Alice nodded in agreement and took my hand, "Come on, Edward."

My father's eyes narrowed as he watched Alice pull me along with Emmett tagging behind. Sure, my brother was annoying as hell, but I would die for him...just like he would for me.

When we got to the third floor, Alice pushed the door to my room open and sat me down on the desk chair in my room. She already was prepared, first aid kit in hand. My dog glanced up at me and ran over to me, wagging his tail. I pet his head, murmuring to him.

"Go lay down." Alice commanded in a sweet voice. Hector whined and sat down in front of her expectantly. She sighed and quickly scratched his head. "Go lay on Edward's bed...Edward had another booboo."

This wasn't a first time. She knew what to expect. While she dabbed at my forehead, she spoke soothingly, "It could have been a lot worse." She poked a tender area and I flinched slightly, "Sorry. Good thing we heard you when we did. We already knew he was angry; we were listening."

"Thanks," I said weakly. Emmett was sitting on the ground absently playing with his fingers. Emmett didn't like blood. For a big tough guy, he seriously was a pussy.

"Fuck, Edward, he could have taken your eye out." She said, pulling out a sewing kit. I grimaced. This wasn't the first time she had sewn me back together...in fact I had _many_ scares from my God forsaken father.

"Thanks, Alice, you _really_ know how to cheer a kid up, don't you?" I said sarcastically. She laughed.

"Anytime, big brother." She giggled. I closed my eyes as the needle began poking the side of my face.

Emmett snorted, "_Big_ brother. You're twins for fuck's sakes."

I opened my eyes glancing over at him. _Fuck's sakes?_ I decided not to tease him about his strange use of curse words...he had after all saved my life for the third time this year...

"He's older by fifteen minutes. That equivalents an older brother." Alice said, pocking at my head with the needle.

"And she is also tiny...so in comparison...I am her _big_ brother...but yes, we've already been threw this..._please drop it."_ I said. But of course Emmett never dropped anything. He was as usual oblivious to my black mood. "OW! Fuck!" Hector glanced up at me and whined.

Alice grimaced, "Stop being such a baby, Edward."

I ignored the jibe and focused on not running away and hiding from the needle like a little kid.

"So, what did you do today?" Emmett asked.

I smiled slightly, thinking of how amazing that sex was...God, I had to do that again...and soon.

"Oh, no you didn't!" Alice screamed, smacking my shoulder with her free hand. Her right hand tugged on the needle, pulling on the stitches.

"OW! PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU'R DOING! I'M NOT A RAG DOLL, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! FUCK, ALICE THAT HURT!" I screamed. Hector jumped about ten feet and hid under the bed.

"For the millionth time, Edward, suck...it...up, you scared the fucking dog for crying out loud...And, I can't _believe_ you!" Of course...Alice knew me inside and out. I know we are twins and all, but sometimes it was just fucking weird how well she knows me.

"What, what happened?" Emmett asked.

"He screwed the new girl. You know, the really nice one we met at lunch. I'm hanging out with her tomorrow," Alice declared triumphantly. My little pixy. She snipped the string on my head. "Do you want a bow, Edward!? Oh, it would be so cute! A little pink one right here!" She touched the side of my head. I rolled my eyes.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa...back up...you, you what!? Really? Already!? Wow...she didn't strike me as the easy type..." Emmett shook his head, "I guess you're better than I thought bro."

"Actually...she wasn't as easy as I'd thought...she messed with me for a while," I smiled thinking of all the things she did to me...the way she had made my body react...it made me insane, "But I got her back...I got her to beg, actually." I smiled, triumphant.

"Do you want an award?" Alice muttered mostly to herself.

"Whoa! Really!? Hah, wow." Emmett looked pleased with me and I smiled at him. "So who's your next target?"

My forehead creased...there was no way in hell that I was telling him that the Swan girl did more things to me then just make my body aroused...she made me...happy. I wanted to stick around her a while longer...I wanted to be with her again...not to just fuck her...but to _talk_ to her. I didn't get it. She was intriguing, and funny, and much more intelligent then she let anyone know. I wanted to _be_ with her not just be with her...I wanted to _love_ her...not just fuck her...and it was a weird sensation.

Edward Cullen didn't get whipped. So I gave my brother a rational response, "Hell, are you kidding? Sex like that!? Yeah, right! I'd be a fool to give that up. Besides it's nice to settle ever now and then."

"So you're...in a relationship then?" He asked.

Yes. "No! Of course not! Strictly physical, you know, fuck and then fuck again and then eventually look for a better fuck."

Alice rolled her eyes. She sat on my lap as she pulled the lizard food into her lap and began feeding chomps.

"Here, boy, you hungry?" She asked, in a mommy-like voice. I smiled as I wrapped my arms around her tiny waist.

I poked her in the ribs and picked Chomps up. "Hey!" She said, glaring at me.

"What?" I faked innocence, knowing her anger.

"I was feeding him." She held her hand out, waiting. We had effectively trained him not to bite people anymore...with the exception of Mike Newton. I chuckled as I pet him softly with finger he very nearly bit off.

I thought back to my birthday...the last birthday my mom had seen. Alice got a fifty dollar gift certificate for i-tunes from Emmett and I get a lizard...nice...

But, I liked Chomps now...even though I had way too many pets...actually Alice and I had too many pets.

"Go feed the hamsters or something. Or the fish...or play with Hector." I said, poking her again. She glared at me.

"Give me the lizard Edward."

I smiled, "Or what?"

"Or I'll tell Hector to sick you." Hector barked playfully and crawled out from under the bed.

I laughed, "He's a foot tall, Alice."

Alice giggled, "So?"

"You two act like children. Come here Hector." Emmett said. Hector jumped off the bed and trotted over to Emmett, wagging his tail. He yipped a little. I smiled. Hector was only a year old and very frisky. Alice and I had found him in a pound in the summer. He was six months old then and very, very adorable. He was fully grown now and a whopping two pounds and seven ounces. He was the sweetest dog I have ever met and loved me, Alice, and Emmett like we were his parents. And in a way we were. My dad was being an ass, usual for him, and said that he didn't want anything to do with Hector and if Hector ever acted up, he would be kicked out. The pound was about to put him down so we couldn't let that happen. But, Hector was sweet and never gave anyone any trouble. He slept in my room with me, but would sleep in Alice's room if I had someone over or if I wasn't there. For some reason animals just liked me. Actually everything liked me. Except my father, but he _used_ to like me...before my mom, Esme died.

Alice was a vegetarian and thought killing animals for food was cruel. I didn't really think much of it and liked meat way too much to give it up so I stuck with the normal food diet...but I definitely _liked_ animals. They made good friends.

I had one dog named Hector, a lizard named Chomps, two hamsters named Achilles and Paris, a snake - another awful birthday present from Emmett when I was fifteen - named Helen, and a bunch of fish all named after the many characters of Troy which was the best movie in the history in the universe. Alice had a lot of fish and a kitten named Princess - typical - a mouse named Pink - as in the singer, and a turtle named Fredrick. You could say that we had a lot of animals...but it wasn't like we couldn't afford it, and we loved them all. But if we had to admit it, Hector was the favorite pet in the house. He was like a little white ball of fur and fun...I smiled as he practically licked Emmett's face off.

I sighed, my head was starting to burn. "Hey, Alice, do you have any pain killers?"

She glanced over at me from Helen's cage. her face turned thoughtful as she considered. "Uh...check the first aid kit, they might be in there if not then they are probably in the bathroom."

"Thanks." I stood up to find them. Alice turned back to snake and gave her food. The were in my connected bathroom as Alice had predicted. I pulled them out quickly and took a few, wondering idly what Bella was doing...

***

_My head was fucking killing me! _I groaned and rolled over. What time is it? I glanced at the clock. Uh...eleven thirty. I sat up slowly, the spinning in my head made me feel like I was going to puke.

Shuddering slightly I trudged into the bathroom. I took one look at myself in the mirror and sighed. The stitches in my head were black and very noticeable...my dad did a good job at fixing shit like this...if he sewed me up, then you probably wouldn't have even been able to see it...but instead he _made _this mess.

I splashed water on my face, trying to wake myself up...naturally, it didn't work. I still felt woozy. I needed booze...

I walked out of the bathroom and got dressed slowly...feeling like I weighed three thousand pounds.

There was light knock on my door. "Edward?"

Typical..."Come in, Alice."

I sounded about as grumpy as I felt and I sat down on the large window seat, looking out over the amazing view of the forest and beyond that, the mountain range. I could also see the river from here. It was beautiful. Hector jumped up and curled into my lap.

The door clicked but I kept my eyes on the water.

She sat next to me, rubbing my shoulder lightly. "He left early this morning...it's safe to go down stair." Hector wagged his tail at Alice and she pet him, crooning to him.

I clenched my teeth. "I hate that I am literally..._scared_ to walk around my house...Do you...do you think that Dad is right? That it _was_ my fault?" I whispered.

"Edward!" Alice said. She sounded angry. I was reluctant to glance over at her...fearing that she would also agree with my father. "It was no one's fault. Just car accident and it was icy out. You can't blame yourself, Edward. Or you'll let him win...you'll let him get to you."

I raised my eyebrows. "This is about winning!? You think I care if my father _likes_ the fact that I blame myself!? I care that _he_ doesn't care, Alice! If it wasn't for me...she would still be alive."

She hugged me tightly, "Don't think like that, Edward."

"How can I not...if I _had_ died...then he would still love me...be mourning for me...and you would have Esme...if I went back for her...but I was a coward." The memories were swirling sickly around in my head...making feel even dizzier.

She sobbed a little, "I couldn't live without you. You make it okay..."

I shook my head. No, I didn't make anything okay...she wouldn't have been fine without me...Everyone would have. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

Alice stood up, glancing back sympathetically at me, "I'm hanging out with Bella today. I have my cell if you need me...or if he comes back. If he does, then call me Edward and I'll bring Bella. He wouldn't dare do anything with company over. Don't leave your room if he's here. Emmett's at Rose's house and I don't even want to think about what could happen if you're home alone with him." I nodded but shuddered.

When she walked out of my room, I couldn't help the memories that swirled around in my head.

I touched my left arm, as I thought. The long line across my arm and ribs was more of a reminder than I wanted. If we landed a little differently, the rock could have cut her seat belt...and I could have died in her place. If I could do it over again...I wouldn't have left that water until I got her with me.

My eyes filled with tears.

My father was right to hate me.

I hated myself.

I sobbed quietly, curling up into a small ball on the window seat my mom and I had made together when I was fifteen and fell asleep.

***

The sound of a door closing made me wake up with a start. I glanced out of the window, looking at the dark sky, and cursing loudly. Not only had I not fed Hector, or any of my other pets for that matter, my dad was home and I was still alone.

"Shit!" Hector whined at me. He didn't like cuss words. I petted his head, "Sorry, crap. Is that better?" He sneezed in my face, and then licked me, so I took it as a yes.

"Are you hungry, boy?" I asked, standing up. He yipped and followed me to his dog bowl. I fed him and the rest of my animals quickly.

I wondered idly if Alice had fed hers. I sighed, might as well check. I walked down the hall quietly, hearing my father walking around on the first floor. I lived on the third floor, and Alice's room was on the second. My father's study was also on the second floor, and I knew he was on his way up there.

My dad was like a vampire, he never slept...it was eerie. I hid behind the wall next to the stairs, peering down them from the shadows. The vampire's study was right across the hall from the stairs. I would wait and then run down there and then feed her cat and turtle...and possibly her fish.

Maybe I should call her first. Carlisle heard _everything_. More proof that he was a vampire. I could practically see his fangs dripping with fresh blood. He probably licked the operating table at work like a spoon.

Fucking vampire...

He walked up the stairs, slowly, looking at the mail he retrieved. Probably something about blood donors for his evil craving of human blood. Yep...that explained why he was a doctor...

When he shut the door to his study, I dialed Alice's phone number and darted down into her bedroom.

Take that, bloodsucking fiend!

I shut the door quietly and walked over to Princess.

"Did Mommy feed you today, girl?" I asked her quietly. She meowed at me, and rubbed herself against my leg. I smiled.

"Hello?" Alice asked on the other line. She sounded like she had been laughing.

"The vampire just arrived." I muttered.

Pause. "Did you just call him a vampire?"

"Yeah, now get home now...I'm in your room." I whispered, giving the cat some nasty smelling cat food.

"What are you doing in my room?" Great now she sounded pissed.

"Feeding your cat...and the turtle...Fredrick. Does Pink need to be fed too?" I asked, dropping some turtle food into his cage thing.

"Uh, yeah. Thanks by the way." She said, sounding distracted.

"What are brothers for?" I muttered sarcastically. I wasn't a typical brother...I actually liked my siblings, thank you very much.

"Um, we'll be home in fifteen?"

Shit...we...so that meant Bella was coming over too?

"Kay, what ever." I hung up and fed Pink and the fish and walked over to the door.

Opening it like I had just committed a crime, I peered at my father's door. It was closed and I could see the light peering out from under it. Quickly, I burst threw the door and ran up the stairs like a mad man and finally made it up to my over-sized room. Then again, everything in this house was over-sized.

Gasping, I walked over to my bed and collapsed down.

Hector yipped at me, wagging his tail. "Hey, puppy!"

He looked up at me from the floor next to the bed and whined. I pushed up onto my knees and patted my legs, indicating for him to come up. "Don't be a baby, jump!"

He tried and failed.

"Come on!" I patted my legs again.

He tried again. And failed again.

I chuckled and picked him up cuddling him into my arms. "Oh, you week little Bichon Frise. My bed isn't _that_ high."

He licked my face.

I chuckled, "Ew, gross! You got your tongue in my mouth!"

Hector whined and wiggled out of my arms. He jumped off the bed and hid under it.

My forehead creased. I jumped off the bed, and looked under it. "I didn't mean to scare you."

He was staring at me and whined. He crawled toward me and bit my shirt, trying to tug me under the bed.

His two pounds trying to pull on my 180 pounds was _not_ working well.

"What are you doing?" I asked. Before I could answer the door opened.

Well, what do you know, my dog was a watch dog. But my stomach dropped into the pit of my stomach as my father stepped into the room. I stood up, quickly and my dog hid farther under the bed.

Guess dogs have a natural instinct to stay away from vampires.

I stared at my father without saying a word. He leaned up against the door post, smoothing down his pitch black hair. It was the exact same shade as Alice's. My eyes narrowed as he took in the stitches on my forehead.

"So what's the story this time?" He asked, pointing at his own head, to refer to mine.

"Your mess, you think of something." I said coldly. I sat on my bed.

"I could say that...what's his name...Herbert attacked you." Carlisle chuckled.

"First, his name is Hector, and second, he's a Bichon Frise and very gentle. That story is out. How about I tell the police that my father hit me in the face?" My voice turned cold and threatening.

But I was no match for him. He walked over to me, grabbing the hem of my shirt and shoved me against the wall, knocking my night stand over. The lamp that was on it shattered and Hector appeared from under the bed and growled at Carlisle.

"Shh, it's okay." I said, in a strained voice. Carlisle turned to look at Hector.

"You try anything, mutt, and I'll kick you out of the window." My stomach dropped. He would too.

Hector whined and hid under the bed again.

Thank God!

"And you!" My father said turning back to me. I could smell the liquor on his breath and I was afraid. "How many times must I tell you? _Don't_ get smart with me!"

My breathing picked up and I blurted out with out thinking, "What would mom say if she saw this!?"

He shoved me to the ground.

I landed on the glass from the lamp and it cut into my arm and chest. I gasped at the pain and pushed myself up onto my hands and knees.

His foot came into my ribs and I felt something snap, as I collapsed down on the ground again. I bit my lip to keep from screaming and was shocked to feel something warm and liquid running down my chin.

At first I thought I drooled so I wiped it off with back of my hand, glancing at it.

It was red. Shit, I bit my lip harder than I'd thought. I was breathing heavy and I squeezed my eyes shut.

_Please, please, please, please, PLEASE come home now Alice. Oh, God, please!_ I coughed trying desperately to breath. My left lung felt tight and it was getting harder and harder to breath. I tried to cough again, but the pain in my chest flared and I whimpered. Shit...

I tried to push myself up again, but when I applied any pressure to the left side of my body flared sickeningly and I collapsed down again.

"There...now you can tell everyone you were in a motor cycle accident." My father said sarcastically.

I gasped, "I think I need to go to the hospital."

I clutched my ribs with my right hand, and moaned. God, it hurt like hell!

My father chuckled, "Have fun driving with the broken rib." He couched next to me and poked my rib with too much pressure and I screamed. He chuckled again, "Yep, definitely a broken rib...are you breathing all right?" He almost sounded concerned.

I shook my head into the carpet, "Can't..." was all I managed to get out.

"Oh, guess you punctured a lung too then. I'll be in my study." He slapped me in the back and I screamed again. As soon as he shut the door, Hector crawled out from under the bed and whined.

"Shh, it's okay." Hector looked at me, cocked his head to the side and walked away.

I sighed, and very, very carefully rolled onto my back. I groaned at the pain it caused. Hector trotted back over to me with something in his mouth. He dropped it in front of me and I chuckled. I moaned again as the pain spiked up in my ribs and I picked up the phone with my right hand, petting Hector and then dialing Emmett's number.

He didn't pick up, naturally, he was at Rose's house, so I suspected as much.

"Emmett, this is Edward." I sounded like utter shit. "Please come home when you get this...I..." I coughed loudly, tasting blood in the back of my throat, "I'm in my room." I whimpered.

I looked up the ceiling and closed my eyes, feeling unconsciousness take over my body...

***

**BPOV**

The day at the mall was totally fun. We got a lot of cute close and turns out, Rosalie ditched us for Emmett...but, she promised she would go next time.

Alice was really sweet and I found out that she was a vegetarian. That explained her weight...

"So you never eat meat?" I asked curious.

She smiled and shook her head, "Nope, never! And I haven't tasted it in seven years. Animals are _way_ too cute to eat. I mean it's mean."

I laughed, "Sure...but don't you ever miss the taste?"

She shook her head, "No. I really can't remember what it tastes like actually."

I raised my eyebrows. "Wow...well, is anyone else in your family a vegetarian?"

"Nah, Emmett needs the protein what with his body building, and Edward likes animals a lot but he also likes the taste of meat a bit more..." She giggled. "And speaking of which...I heard my brother was tutoring you yesterday. What did you two do?" A speculative gleam came into her eye.

I blushed, knowing that she knew, "Um...nothing in particular."

She rolled her eyes. "Edward is _the_ top player at Forks high...and I don't mean just at sports..."

I laughed. "I know that...we've...talked about it. And I'll have you know it is _strictly _physical between us. None of that romantic mushy shit." Well, for him at least...

Alice rolled her eyes. "Sure, whatever. Just don't get your heart broken. My brother is...well, he's ruthless." Then she looked down at her half eaten veggie-burger. "Well, he wasn't always that way..."

My forehead creased, "What happened?"

She looked back up at me. "Well, Edward used to be a really nice kid. I mean, don't get me wrong, he still is...he just, fell into the wrong crowd, I guess. What with the lack of parental supervision..." Her face grew very sad.

"Oh..." I had heard about that. The horrible tragedy. My dad had told me that Esme and Edward Cullen had gotten into a car accident last summer when I was vacationing with him. I guess the roads were icy and Mrs. Cullen had lost control of the car...I didn't remember all of the details..."Your mom...passed, right?"

She nodded sadly. "Edward's been beating himself up about it since it happened a year ago, next week." I raised my eyebrows. The first death anniversary is always the hardest I'd heard.

"Wow, I'm really sorry about that...but why is Edward beating himself up?" How could he have any reason to? It was just a car accident...

"You're going to have to talk to him about it. It's not really my place..."

"Aren't you guys twins?" I asked, after a pause and changing the subject.

Her face lit up slightly, "Yeah, we are."

"Who's older?" I asked, honestly curious.

"Oh, he is...by fifteen minutes." She smiled, "Emmett get's mad at us when we call each other big brother and little sister. He thinks it's annoying. But, we've been doing it for years..._just_ to annoy him." She giggled.

I smiled, "So you guys are really close then?"

"We've had our feuds...but Edward is really the best brother any one came hope for..." Her cell phone vibrated and she picked it up.

"Hello?" A very peculiar expression crossed her face, "Did you just call him a vampire?" Who were they talking about? Then her little forehead creased and she looked incredibly angry, "Why are you in my room?"

I smiled and then rolled my eyes. I glanced over at the table next to us and saw a major-ly hot guy. I poked her hand and pointed subtly at him. She smiled, definitely liking what she saw, and no longer involved in her conversation, "Uh, yeah...thanks by the way."

He said something on the other line, and then she said, "Um, we'll be home in fifteen?"

She hung up then and smiled up at me. There was something off about her expression, "Do you want to sleep over?"

Hmm, spending the night at Edward's house...what could be better?

I smiled, "Sure."

***

While we were driving Alice's phone rang.

"Emmett?"

The person on the other line sounded like he screaming into the phone. I saw Alice's eyes widen and her mouth fell open a little...

My forehead creased.

"Shit, is..." She took a deep breath, "Is he okay?"

I was instantly worried...is Edward hurt?

She swallowed loudly, "What do you mean he had blood coming out of his mouth!?"

_What!?_

"Oh, fuck..." Then her eyes narrowed. She looked angry as hell like she wanted to punch something, but she had tears in her eyes. "Where is Dad?"

She shook her head, looking even angrier. "Emmett, is Edward okay?"

"Oh my God!" She screamed.

***

**EPOV**

There was someone talking in the background...I wish he would shut up...my entire body was aching like hell. I was trying to remember what happened, but my mind felt all foggy and shit and I couldn't breathe well."Hold on he's waking up." Emmett...what perfect timing that boy had.

"Shit..." I coughed, groaning as I did so. Something poured out of my mouth and I could taste metal in the back of my throat. It took me a second to realize that it was blood. Aw, fuck...

"Edward, listen, you have to get to the hospital." Emmett said slowly.I nodded, telling him I understood. "Hold, on I'm going to check you out, okay?" He asked.

I nodded again.I heard something rip and I opened my eyes, trying to understand what was happening. Emmett had ripped my shirt in half.

"Oh my fucking Lord...holy sweet Jesus, OH MY GOD!" Emmet screamed. I tried to look to see what he was going on about. "His rib...it's...it's poking out of his skin..."

I heard someone scream on the other line and I guessed it was Alice...Wait a second....What did he just say?

My breathing, which was hard and heavy, came faster. Oh, God...it hurt so bad."Emmett," I tried to say.

"Don't talk, okay, I'm going to call an ambulance." I shook my head.

"No, you can't." More blood dripped down my chin. "Dad-"I coughed again, and black spots started to appear at the corner of my eyes. I blinked rapidly against them. The pain was getting to be too much.

I shook my head hard, trying to stay awake...or alive for that matter.

"No, Edward, this had gone too far! It's time the town found out what kind of screwed up doctor he really is.

"I shook my head. "He'd kill us..." I coughed again."Please stop talking."I shook my head again, looking him in the eye. "Not until you agree..."It was getting harder and harder to talk. My throat was constricting and my lung was getting tighter. The air was whooshing out of my lungs, but it wouldn't enter fast enough.

"Please, Emmett." I gasped. The black spots got more dominant...taking up more of my vision...

I saw him nod slowly, grimacing as he did so.

"Thank you." I only mouthed it...not having enough air or even strength to make the words have sound. The black spots blurred together covering my entire sight and I slipped back into oblivion.

"No! Edward stay with me!" Something hard smacked against my cheek, but it wasn't enough to wake me...The voice and the pain slowly disappeared.

_***_

_I laughed quietly, Amy had given me a coke."No alcohol for you tonight, Edward?" Amy asked, her voice smooth like melted honey._

_I smiled at her and shook my head, "No thanks. I'm not much of a drinker."_

_She rolled her eyes. "You keep saying that...you're not much of this, you're not much of that...but..." her face grew seductive and my body immediately reacted, hardening at her sly and beautiful face. "How are you in bed?"_

_I smiled, "Only the best."_

_She smiled back, "So there is something naughty that Edward Cullen enjoys."_

_I bit my lip. She grabbed my hand, and pulled me down a long hallway. Once inside the room, she shoved me down on the bed and straddled me. My member hardened even further and her lips found my neck. I groaned was a lot of commotion going on outside the door and she sighed quietly, hopping off the bed. I followed reluctantly."There you are!" Oh shit! Esme walked over to me, grabbing my hand. The rest of the crowd snickered as she pulled me towards the front door. "As for the rest of you, you're lucky I don't call the police."_

_That silenced them. She pulled me outside and shoved me into the car. Without a word, she started it up, plowing down the road at an insane speed._

_"Mom, slow down, you'll crash. It's icy out tonight." I said, watching the snow fall down in thick flakes around us._

_"Don't tell me what to do, Edward!" My mother screamed much too loudly for the little car we were in. "Have you been drinking!?" She demanded._

_I shook my head, "No, I don't drink."_

_"Did you have sex with that girl!?"I smiled; she really was funny when she was mad, "No...not yet. You interrupted."_

_I faked a grimace. She glared. "This is soo not funny, Edward Cullen. I am going to ground you for a month!"_

_I grimaced for real this time. "Sorry, Mom, really."_

_She looked over at me, tears in her vivid green eyes. "I can't believe you! You...you disobeyed me completely!"_

_I looked out of the window, "Yes, I know...I'm...I am sorry mom. I really don't know what else to say."_

_"I want you tell me that you'll never do that again. Do you hear me!?" She yelled, glaring at me._

_"Look at the road, Mom!" I was feeling anxious...like something bad was going to happen._

_"Promise me, Edward!"_

_I closed my eyes. "I promise."_

_She sighed and shook her head, glaring at the road.I glanced at the clock, noting that it was three thirty in the morning and that my mom was wearing pajamas."So...just out of curiosity...how did you find out I was...missing?" I asked; she glared at me, "I got home late and went in to check on you...like usual, and what do you know, you're bed is made and you were missing." She shook her head again._

_I felt really bad; she must have been scared. "I'm sorry." I said, ans she again glared at me, "You know-"_

_"MOM!" I screamed as a deer jumped out into the road. The car swerved and crashed through a guard rail._

***

I gasped, waking up.

"Edward! Oh my God! Don't ever scare me like again! Are you okay!?" Alice was sobbing into my chest.

"Ow...Alice, my rib." I suddenly came back to the present...remembering what had stupid father pushed me on the ground.

"Sorry," she whimpered looking hurt. I rolled my eyes.

"I didn't say leave," I opened my arms out to her, flinching slightly. This time she carefully curled into my chest, cuddling on the right side, and avoiding my left I took in my surroundings. The room was white and small, there was an annoying beeping noise in the background and I gathered that I was in a hospital room.

"Are you feeling better?" The voice was soft and tender and my heart warmed slightly. Bella...I found her eyes...warm chocolate pools of brown. I smiled slightly at her, "Yeah, I'm fine now. Thanks."

She smiled half-heartedly. "I'm glad."

My eyes felt heavy, and I wanted to go back to sleep, but there were some things I needed to work out with my family and I didn't want to have my dream again. Well not so much a dream as a nightmare...I watched with hooded eyes as she walked over to my bedside. "So what happened?"

I shrugged and winced. Alice looked at me sympathetically. "Ummmm..." I was good at coming up with lies, "I fell down. See, I hurt my head yesterday, and I was feeling a little light headed. So, I went over to my bed to lie down and I passed out...I guess that was how I broke my rib, because I kind of knocked the night stand over."

Bella's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "So you just fell?"

"No, I passed out."

"Because you hit your head?"

My eyes narrowed, "Yes."

Emmett and my father walked in looking rather uptight...like he thought something was going to jump out and bite him in the neck...funny...isn't that what he does to people?

"Hey, bro...how are you?" There was something brewing under Emmett's calm facade. I smiled weakly, hugging a terrified Alice tighter in to my side.

"Really good."

"So what happened?" Carlisle asked, walking over to my side. He was so good at pretending that he loved me...that he didn't abuse me...

"Um..." My eyes narrowed as if I was thinking, "Well, as I said to Bella, I was feeling woozy, because I hurt my head yesterday, and I passed out."

Carlisle nodded as he poked around on my ribs, applying much too pressure. I felt my face go completely vampire glanced up looking like he was about to burst with happiness as my face drained of blood.

"Are you okay?" Bella asked, her face growing and Alice looked up at me, and then seemed to notice that I was in pain. Emmett's jaw clenched tight and Alice looked like she was about to scream.

"Mmhmm." I gasped quietly, my ribs screaming in protest as my father very purposely shoved his fingers hard into my looked up at me. He looked at me innocently, "You have to tell me if it hurts, Edward."

I wanted to burst out into tears. The false concern in his voice swirled around in my head...sending a wave of heartbreaking wistfulness threw me.

I remembered when my father used to care about me. The way he used to smile at me and tell me that I would be fine.

"Sorry," I whimpered quietly as his fingers pressed tighter against my aching stood up, smiling at me. I could see the hatred behind his cheeky grin...

"Well, Edward, I think you'll be fine. You'll have to stay here for a few more days, but other than that you'll be okay."

I nodded, smiling fake at he walked from the room, Alice stood up, "I'm going to go meet Jasper...I'll...see you later."

I nodded at her, Emmett also left, but Bella stayed. She smiled at me.

"How are you going to get home?" I asked quietly. Her smile faded and she looked away.

"I'll find away...I could leave now if you wanted." She said. I could hear the hurt in her voice and my stomach dropped...She was getting attached and I couldn't have that. "If you want to stay...stay...if you want, then go..."

She looked down biting her lip. "There's something I needed to talk to you about..."

Ah, fuck, here it comes. She is going to start babbling some shit about being in-love with me and hell, I liked her...like I really _liked_ her – and coming from me, that's saying something – but...I didn't want her to turn into a stalker...

"Actually, never mind it's not important..." Her face turned thoughtful and it sure as _hell_ looked important...

"I'll see you Monday? Or will you still be here?"

"I'll be at school Monday. I will break out of this damn hospital if I am not out of here my Monday...so yeah I see you there." And then I smiled, "Don't we have a date for a biology session?" Ah shit...I just called it a date didn't I?

She chuckled, "Ah, Edward Cullen, I knew that you're a player but you think about sex when you're in the hospital? You have sex obsession."

I smiled ruthless; there was the Bella that I wanted to screw again... "Of course."

She rolled her eyes.

I watched as she stood slowly, swaying her hips in ways that made my body ache in all too familiar ways.

I groaned too quietly for her to hear. By the time she was standing next to my bed, I had a full hard on. She leaned in, pressing her lips to mine and my body grew even harder. I was utterly and completely embarrassed when the beeping increased and my heart began beating faster. She pulled away smiling at me.

"Ah, Edward I make your heart beat faster..." Her hand slipped down, slowly, and rubbed against my groin, "And make you hard." Her devious little smile almost pushed me over the top...I almost ripped the stupid IV out of my arm and fucked her, no fucking shame...I'm Edward Cullen and _that_ is my game.

****Alright I know the last bit is corny, buuut, I couldn't help it, the bad boy has to come out again!!! :)****

**Okay, I just want to apologize for this awful writing. I actually wrote this a year ago and, quite frankly I'm actually embarrassed to be posting this, but it was either post it now, after three months or rewrite it and take another three months. Originally I was just going to write a sequel, but I've decided that enough is enough. When you get board of a story unfortunately you need to stop writing it, or it will suck…*sigh* so I'll be posting an epilogue when the rest of the story is over. Now, don't get your panties in a twist - or boxers whatever your wearing I don't really wanna know… - There are still…two more chapters this length that will be up today or tomorrow, or sometime this week, as for the epilogue, I still have to write it. Don't worry, I've gotten back into my grove of writing and am in a rush to finish this story so I can start another one… And of course finish my other story, Bella Cullen - Adopted (link on my profile, go check it out!!) So basically what I am trying to say is, I'm sorry for keeping you waiting so long, and the end is near… :)**


	5. Pain Killers

Bad Boy Edward - Chapter 4: Pain Killers, Part 1

EPOV

Hell, it has been two frickin' days in this God forsaken hospital. All through out those days, my head was killing me and my ribs burned after every breath. To make matters worse every night I slept here, I had..._that_ dream again.

I think it had something to do with the fact that I was in a hospital...just like I was so many months ago. Or maybe it had something to do with the fact that my mother died exactly a year ago on Thursday.

Hell, my life sucked.

It sucked, and my dad was an ass.

And speaking of, the Childcare people were coming to ask me a few..."questions."

Lovely.

The door to my room, opened slowly and in walked two nicely dressed men with serene faces. Family killers. They were here to make my suckish life that much worse.

I wasn't going to turn Dracula in just yet. I was going to wait until I was out of college and then I could do anything I wanted.

There were a few reasons I kept my mouth shut. One, well, the obvious, I would be taken from Carlisle. As would Alice and Emmett. God knows I could never live without them.

And We didn't have the money to afford a place like ours...if Carlisle was still living, that

was his money.

In jail or not.

So we would have to sell both our houses and our pets...reason number two.

And three...my dad wouldn't go to jail for life...as soon as they let him out...

I shuddered.

He knew what my weaknesses were. Carlisle wouldn't come after me...he'd...

He'd go for my heart.

He'd kill Alice.

Just the thought made my heart quiver.

How could I ever live without my baby sister making jokes about my wild, uncontrollable hair. Or rolling her eyes when Emmett and talked about girls. How could I live without someone yelling at me for stealing the lizard from her hands...or chase around the house with a squirt gun?

I couldn't.

And what about my brother? Who would I talk to when I needed advise? Someone who will beet up the bad guys if they ever hurt me? Someone who I loved to hate, but could never live without?

And everything I had worked for. School...my grades...staying up late working on the endless piles of homework my teachers dump on my desk. All of that would be wasted...I

wasn't about to give it up now.

But on top of all of that.

My mother came into my mind. If Esme was alive...how would she ever forgive me for ripping apart my own family...just so I could have peace at mind.

So it was these things that made up my mind. I will not tell the truth...they cannot make me.

"Hello, Mr. Cullen." Said a short, fat man. He was balding. Very severely. His narrow glasses slid down the bridge of his large nose and his thin wiry lips were pursed.

Eyes narrowed, muscles coiled. He was ready to strike. I nodded at him.

The other was tall, middle aged like the first but his face was not marred in the same angry lines that his co-worker's face held.

"Mr. Cullen, we are here to regard your recent "accident" that occurred on Saturday evening. Would you mind answering a few questions?" The fat one said.

I narrowed my eyes. "Uh, sure. What do want to know?"

The short one glanced at the other man before continuing, "Well, Mr. Cullen. We just want to know the basics first. What _exactly_ happened on the evening of Saturday the fifteenth?"

I remember a class I took once...I couldn't remember the subject it was in, but I did remember this: When a person lies, he adds too much detail, as if he is trying to convince himself. So I kept it simple.

"I fell down." I said, glancing at the tall one. He seemed kinder than the other man.

The tall one stepped forward, smiling kindly. "I'm sorry we are being very rude. My name is Henry Goil and this is George Volins. Our only purpose is to ensure that no child abuse is going on in homes and such. We don't mean to barge in on you, but we also want to make sure that everything is okay at home."

I shifted uncomfortably in the bed, "Child abuse?" My eyebrows raised and I added the

right amount of innocence to my voice.

Goil nodded. "Don't be alarmed, we just want some answers."

I glared, "What kind of answers exactly?"

"Please, Mr. Cullen, be calm. You must understand that isn't the first time you've been hospitalized for an accident."

"So I fall down a lot. Is that a sin?" Confidence is key.

Mr. Volins rolled his eyes, "Look kid, all we want to know is how did you fall down? Did

someone push you?"

"No."

"How did you break your rib then?"

I looked at him in disbelief. Speaking slowly so he would understand I said, "I fell

down..."

He rolled eyes again.

"Son," Mr. Goil said, glaring at the fat one. "We just want some details."

"Okay, I had hurt my head the day before while playing baseball. I felt woozy so I went to go lie down on my bed and I passed out." My voice was annoyed. Couldn't they just go

home and leave me alone?

"All right. How exactly did you hurt your head?"

"I got hit with a bat. My dad stitched me up."

"So he didn't take you to the hospital?" Oops...

"He's one of the top doctors in the United States of America. I think he can manage."

"Right, so if he was one of the top doctors, you would think that he would know to take you to the hospital. If you felt woozy, then something must have been wrong." Mr. Volins said.

I wanted to throw something at him. "Obviously, I got hit in the head! I wasn't feeling

woozy at first, but my head was aching the next day."

"All right, then let's just jump to the point." He said.

"Let's." I agreed tersely.

"Has your father ever abused you?"

"No."

"Has he ever threatened you in a non-joking way that made you felt uncomfortable?"

"No."

"Does your father drink alcohol?"

"Uh, yeah."

"So under the influence ha he ever harmed you or your siblings in anyway?"

"Not that I know of."

"Mr. Cullen, you _do_ realize that if you don't tell us about any problems you may or may not be having we can't help you?"

"Yes...because I'm not having any problems. My father is a good man and would rather cut off his own hand then ever lie a finger on me if it wasn't in loving way. You may leave now." My voice was rough and I was surprised by the sincerity in it. It almost sounded like the truth...almost.

"All right, but if you _do_ decide that anything is...wrong, then call me at this number." Mr. Goil walked over and handed me a card on it.

I nodded, "Thanks, but that won't be necessary." I'll probably already be dead by the time I

could get to the phone. Oh, well, better me than Alice.

***

Finally I was released. It was Monday night and I had broken my promise to Bella. I'd make it up to her tomorrow. I smiled at the thought of how I could repay her.

Alice had driven me home and was being...unusually quiet.

"All right, what did I do?" Her sideways glances and evil glares tipped me over the top.

She was mad at me.

"You didn't tell them."

"Fuck! Are you kidding me!? _That's_ what this is about!? Hell, Alice, they were jerks, both of them and if I told them there is a good _fucking_ chance you would never see me or Emmett again. Is that what you want!? Huh!?" My breathing came hard and I started to feel light headed again.

"Calm down. I really don't feel like taking you to the hospital again." She said.

I rolled my eyes. This conversation was over for now. I was done with the "your father abuses you" shit and "you should turn him."

I got out of the car, slamming the door with a bit too much force and darted up two flights of stairs and into my room. Hector barked loudly and jumped up into my arms. "Puppy!" I yelled, burring my face into his soft white fur. He smelled like the outdoors and surprisingly for a dog he smelled pretty good. Well, minus his breath.

I walked over to my huge bed and wondered idly what it would be like to have Bella in my bed with me.

I groaned quietly at the thought and dropped Hector on the soft pillows. He whined and curled into a ball. I lay next to him, smiling at his little beady eyes that showed me love and trust. I kissed his head softly and let my eyes close.

***

My door opened slowly and I jumped at first, thinking it was my dad. But I was rewarded with the sight of seeing long and wavy hair walking towards me. The room was dark but I knew who it was. Only one person in the whole world was that beautiful...Bella. Without a word she hopped onto my bed and threw my blankets off of me, climbing on top of me.

When her hips rocked hard against me, I moaned, letting the sensations run over my body. My breath came rougher as she leaned down running her lips and tongue over the skin of my neck. The next thing I felt was her hand rubbing hard against my groin and I couldn't suppress the curse and moan that followed. She kissed me roughly, biting down hard on my lower lip, letting her tongue caress the scrapes that I had given myself the day that my father had broken my rib. Was that only two days ago? It felt like forever.

But that didn't matter. Bella was here in my room. And my body was responding in all the right ways. I wanted to be in her, thrusting in and out of her, hearing her cry my name and beg for more.

And then I heard a strange tapping noise. Just like that, Bella and her magical hands disappeared and I woke up with a start. Great, it was a dream and now I had a hard on that

would definitely not go away easily.

There was a tap again, and I rolled over onto my back trying to see. _Tap, tap, tap_.

Damn it was annoying!

I looked over at my window and saw a pair of eyes staring at me.

"Holy, shit!" I said, realizing who it was. I ran over to the window and opened it. Bella climbed in the room and I slid the window shut again. It was fucking cold out tonight.

"What the hell are you doing!?" I asked.

"Well if you want me to leave so bad, then I'll go." She said, smiling seductively.

"Who said I wanted you to leave?" I asked. "I just want to know why your hear."

"Well, first off, didn't you promise to tutor me today? I mean I need my daily fix of some fucking good biology tutoring! And second, I want to know what's going on. And don't lie to me."

I sighed. I really didn't want to have this conversation. "Can we talk about that later? I'd rather do Biology."

"It seems that Biology isn't the most important topic of...discussion." She said.

I sighed. "What do you want to know?" I asked walking over to my bed. She followed me, and sat down on the edge.

She smirked, looking me over, "All right, I have to say I love your boxers...aren't you a little old to be wearing batman boxers?"

I faked a laughed, "Har, har, get on with it."

She smiled, "All right. Well, my first question is, what really happened?" Her smile was gone and her eyes were grave. "Cut the 'I fell down shit' because I don't believe any of it."

She shook her head angrily, "When I came in here and found you crumpled up on the floor with your sister and brother sobbing next to you, I knew it was something much, much deeper than a head injury and a broken rib."

I lay back on the bed, glaring at her. "And how is that any of your business?"

"Oh, for God's sakes, Edward! Tell me, it's not like I'll tell anyone."

"With a police officer as a father, I'm not telling you shit."

"Fine, then I won't sleep with until you tell me." Her eyes roamed over my body, resting on my still very aroused dick. Shit.

My eyes narrowed. "That is hardly fair."

She smiled and bit her lip. I desperately wanted to pull her full lip from her teeth and suck on it, but I remained focused. "I never said that I played fair."

I clenched my teeth.

Her face grew very soft and _very, very_ seductive. She leaned forward crawling over me, letting her tiny hips graze over mine. "Please tell me."

Her lips dipped down and ran over the bare skin of my chest. Starting from the top of my collar bone and moving towards the other side of my body, dipping down slowly. When she reached my nipple, she licked it carefully. Then her lips moved lower towards my ribs, to the spot that was still very sore. Her fingers traced over the tape on my side.

"How did this happen?" She whispered against my skin. Her finger gently tapped the covered skin, her eyes meeting my curious gaze. She was doing to things to my body that no other woman has ever dared.

And I...liked it.

I touched her cheek, "If I tell you...you'll stop teasing me?"

She smiled. "I never said that...I just said that I would fuck you."

I grinned back, "That's good enough, I suppose."

I flipped her over onto her back so that I was lying on top of her. My dick was aching to be inside her and it took everything I had not to rip off her tiny little shorts and tank top.

Why was she running around in the freezing rain dressed like this?

I sighed quietly, looking at her face. "Do you..._promise_...swear even to keep this between us?"

She nodded, "I fucking swear!"

I smiled half-heartedly and looked down at her tiny body lustfully. After a minute of composure, I glanced back up at her eyes, swallowing loudly. "This...this isn't easy for

me to tell...you have to know that."

She nodded, urging me to continue.

I took a deep breath. "All right, I'm sure you heard that my mom died last year?"

She nodded.

"How much do you know about that?"

"Not much."

I took a deep breath, bracing myself for the memories that were all ready starting to swirl around in my head.

"I....Well, my mom, she told me not go to this party that Jacob Black threw at his friend Amy's house. She didn't want me to go because there was drinking and shit. But I didn't listen. I wanted to go to this party." My fingers ran down the side of her neck. She shivered.

My breath came harder as I thought back to that night. "Jacob had told me that if I didn't come he would tell everyone what a nerd I was...a book worm. I was always bent over some book, desperately trying to gain new knowledge. Trying so hard to get to the top of my class. It snapped something inside me and...I realized, or well _thought_ that life wasn't just all about knowledge. That being smart isn't all that. Not when you didn't have anyone to share it with. So I went to the party...not letting anyone see my purpose. No one could know I was smart."

I glanced over at the window, staring out at the sheeting rain. "It was snowing, and snowing hard. All the roads were covered in a sheet of ice that wasn't there when Amy had picked me up. All I cared about was being cool. Was fitting in, trying to make friends in a new environment. And I didn't realize that all I needed was at home sleeping soundly in their beds.

"But I didn't care about that. I was young...and nothing mattered to me...

"So anyway, at the party people seemed to like me. It was the first time that any of them really talked to me, though I had lived in Forks for about a year. I fit in...naturally. I could be myself and people still liked me. This made Jacob jealous. Even his girlfriend Amy liked me. Well my mom had found out that I was missing. She drove to Amy's house, already knowing where it was, and picked me up." My voice dropped down to an agonized whisper.

My head fell onto her shoulder as my eyes threatened to water. "On the way home, we crashed. The car went threw a guard rail and into the ocean. The only way I made it out alive was by a sharp boulder that pierced threw the bottom of the car. It cut threw the bottom of the car and my seatbelt." I took a deep shaking breath, and I couldn't suppress the agony as I continued, "My mom wasn't so lucky." A sob broke through my chest,

"And I was too much of a coward to try to go back for her." I shook my head, feeling the tears run down my face.

Bella's arms wrapped around me. "I am so sorry." Tears were in her voice.

I glanced up and sure enough tears were streaming down her face and running her eyeliner.

I brushed the tears from her eyes.

She took a deep breath and cleared her throat. "So how does that tie into Saturday?"

I took a deep breath myself. "My...dad...hasn't been the same since the accident. He blames me for what happened, and started drinking...and-"

"Oh my God!" She whispered, her face getting paler. "Your...your _father_ did this to you!?"

I looked away, biting my lip. Very discreetly, I nodded. She didn't say anything for a long time and finally I looked back at her. I _had_ to. I had never told anyone that who wasn't immediate family.

Her face was shocked and tears were running down her face again.

What had started out as a carefree, laughing relationship turned into something much more than that...

And I sensed that she knew this.

Her fingers lightly brushed across my cheek, moving the hair out of my eyes. I needed to cut it again. It was unruly.

I almost smiled, remembering over-hearing the girls at school calling it "sex hair," almost but not really. She was much more important than that...and with a horrifying start...I realized that I loved her.

That I was _in_-love with her, and hell...I didn't ever want to be without her. It hurt just to think about.

I knew in those eyes that she would never tell another soul...I trusted her.

Completely.

Hell, I was fucking gone with the wind.

I was hers...but...she _wasn't_ mine...

***

I woke up in the morning feeling light and happy. I couldn't remember what had happened in my dream, but I was really warm and happy as I cuddled up against the warmest frickin' blanket ever. Hell, it even _smelled_ good.

I buried my face against it, breathing deeply, and it snuggled back, pulling me tighter against it, sucking me into its warmth.

What the hell?

Confused and more than a little creeped out, I opened my eyes. And then my heart warmed up.

The previous night had come crashing down on me and I smiled. Bella had stayed.

It wasn't a dream.

She knew about my deep, dark past...

And she still stayed.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Oh God, Bella, I love you!

I kissed her cheek softly, rewarded with her small smile. "Bella," I whispered. She smiled really big and then tucked away her face into my shoulder.

"You have to wake up." I said softly, kissing her hair.

She groaned into shoulder, turning her head into my arm and the pillow. My arms tightened around her.

"Fuck school." She said, her voice muffled.

I smiled. "What about all your friends?" Or lack of...

"Don't have any..." She whispered.

"You have me...and Alice...and Rosalie...and Emmett...and Jasper...and whoever the hell else you know."

"No...I'm not going to school. I'm comfy and it's cold out and I don't have any clothes."

I smiled wider. "I never did get to ask you. What the hell made you to decide to go out in the freezing rain dressed like this?"

Her clothes were still slightly damp, as was her hair, and it made her look even more amazing.

She groaned, "I don't know...shh, I'm sleeping!"

I laughed. I leaned down and nibbled on her ear.

"Stop!" She tried to hide the giggles that were erupting from her throat. My teeth grazed over her ear. I found the opening and slid my tongue along it.

She gasped quietly. "Ew! You just gave me a Wet Willy!"

I laughed again, and did it again...of course.

She shivered...not in disgust...not in the cold...in pleasure. And from studying women like they were a high school subject, I _knew_.

"I think you like it." I said, flicking my tongue out over and over and over.

"I'd like your tongue a whole lot better somewhere _else_." I raised my eyebrows, but her head was still tucked against her arm.

I groaned quietly, "Okay! You win, no school!" I rolled us over, pushing her on her back as she giggled. I laid my weight on top of her and she bit her lip gazing up at me.

"What about all of your friends?" She asked repeating my words from earlier.

I smiled, "I don't have any."

She rolled her eyes, "Right...and I don't have brown hair."

I smiled, "All right, well, since you have me scheduled to stay away from school and all my "friends," then I had better hoping fuck you have something good planned. And when I say good, I mean bad. Very bad...dirty...naughty...disgusting...and very, very bad. But make it good!"

"For the second time, you make no sense."

I smiled widely at her, "And for the second time, my brilliance confuses people."

She rolled her eyes, but shoved up on her elbows and crushed her hot mouth to mine.

And i completely and utterly lost myself in those arms...those lips...those eyes...every fucking damned thing about her.

She was heaven and hell all wrapped it on one sweet package. Like candy dipped in vinegar. A torn dollar bill...bitter-sweet.

And I loved it.

I knew I could never have her...she was completely and utterly beautiful and amazing (especially when it came to sex but everywhere else too)...and girls like her were too smart to stick with guys like me. Bittersweet. Lovely...perfect and just so damn bitter...my kind of girl...

Or at least it _should_ have been...but I wanted to keep one this time. And I wanted to keep her.

Forever.

I loved her.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Oh God, Bella, I love you!

I like you.

I adore you.

You amaze me.

You are fucking perfect.

You name sounds like music.

You are my painkillers.

You make everything okay.

************

**BPOV**

I lay there. Unmoving my eyes fixed to the ceiling of my bedroom.

Something was _wrong_ here. Something was very, very wrong.

I closed my eyes...but all I could see was Edward lying on the ground of his massive bedroom...broken.

_Alice ran up the stares faster than I thought possible. I followed suit, knowing that something was wrong. Two flights of stares later, we barged into a bed room. I could hear sirens and I figured that was a bad thing. A very bad thing._

_"Good, the ambulance is here. Alice, come here." Emmett was on the ground kneeling, I couldn't see what it was...Alice was in my way._

_"Oh my God! What happened!?" Alice said, darting over to what ever it was. I followed hesitantly._

_The nightstand was lying on it's side with the table lamp shattered on the floor. And on top of that lamp was Edward. I nearly ran from the room, holding my mouth to keep me from puking. His shirt had been ripped opened and his rib was very nearly pocking out of his skin...like someone purposely pulled it out when they knew his rib was broken. He had blood dripping from his mouth and down his chin and on his chest. His face was devoid of blood. Even in a state of unconsciousness he looked like he was in terrible pain. The skin over his rib was black and blue and purple. When he had fallen on the lamp, it had made cuts on his arms and chest and stomach, making blood spots all over his entire body._

_It was the...the most disturbing thing I had ever seen_.

I shook my head, coming back to the present. I thought back to when he had told me he fell down in the hospital and nothing out of the ordinary happened. It couldn't be possible. Someone did that to him.

I couldn't take this anymore!

I pushed myself up and off of my bed quickly. Climbing out of the window, I grabbed onto the tree branch that was conveniently right in front of my window.

It didn't take long to get down on the ground. It stung a little when I had to jump down from the last possible branch...but whatever.

Climbing into my truck, I blasted the heat. It was freezing out and all I had on were a stupid pair of shorts and a tank top.

The engine was loud but I didn't care...I needed to see Edward.

I had no idea where his house was, but surprisingly it wasn't too hard to find.

I pulled into his driveway and froze. There was a _huge_ gate in front of his house and I totally forgot about it.

Oh well. I parked the truck down the street a little ways and climbed out into the poring rain.

Jeez, I was probably going to die of hyperthermia.

My jaw was shaking and my hands were shaking...hell, my whole body was shaking.

I sighed.

I ran over to the gate, not knowing how in the hell I was going to get in.

Well, there were a bunch of trees. I climbed up one and climbed down another and found myself in his huge frickin' yard. Well, it was a bit harder than that, but whatever.

I ran up the long drive way until I finally found his house..._huge_ house.

Why oh why did he have to live on the third floor? Luckily for me there was another huge tree. One of the branches scraped his window.

Well I think it was his window. Oh well, here goes nothing.

the next time I have to climb a stupid tree I am going to shoot someone. I grasped onto the windowpane, and tapped it.

No answer.

I could see him in there and it was definitely him.

I tapped again. His forehead creased.

He rolled over onto his back and looked over at the window.

It sounded like he said 'Holy shit.'

I sighed. Finally he opened the damn window and let me in.

When he was listening, I demanded to know what had happened. And...to my utter surprise he told me everything.

It was horrible and sad and disturbing, and he told it to me.

I ended up falling asleep in his arms, totally and completely content.

I was so horribly in love with him and a guy like him would never love a girl like me. I couldn't stay attached to him, or I would get my heart broken...

We had been talking and giggling and now his lips were urgent on mine. Our tongues twisting together.

I felt him grab my leg and wrap it around his hip. I could feel the bulge in his pants and I wanted it...wanted _him_.

I was gasping for breath and my heart was bounding.

"Edward..." I whispered. Just this last time I would surrender myself to him. And then it was over. We would be no more.

I couldn't let him see how very much he was affecting me.

"Bella, I want you." He whispered, his eyes searching mine.

I smiled. It was seductive, hiding my real emotions from him. "What ever happened to patience?"

He smiled back, "Please, baby."

I couldn't help the way my heart reacted when he called me baby, but I silenced it when I thought of all the other girls he had said that to.

I rolled my eyes, "Fine. Do what you will."

His lips pressed hard against mine again, and I couldn't suppress the groan that escaped my lips.

He tasted so good.

He pulled my shirt off and skimmed his fingers over the skin of my now bare chest. His fingers ran over my nipple, which hardened instantly, and made their way down to my shorts.

He pulled those off too and then my underwear.

My breathing was coming hard and fast and his eyes were sucking me in. They were like emeralds. But, they were incredibly soft.

I pushed up off the bed and kissed him. He groaned into my mouth as I rubbed my hand over his covered dick. I rid him of his own clothes quickly.

It was so sensual. Laying with him, our naked bodies tangled together. I gasped quietly as his lips worked down my body. Kissing and sucking and licking.

His lips found their destination between my legs and I gasped when his tongue flicked out and licked along my clit.

I grabbed his hair roughly, pushing him closer against me.

When his tongue entered me, I thought I would loose it right there. My heart was pounding in my chest. All of my senses were in over drive. Every part of my body was so tender.

His tongue was caressing my inner walls quickly, pumping in and out of me. My back arched and I moaned, throwing my head back against the pillows as I reached my climax.

He pulled away quickly, seeming desperate in his need. He angled his cock at the entrance to my haven, sliding in...slowly.

I threw my head back and groaned as he let me fully enjoy the entire length of his member. Once he was settled, he began to move.

Slowly at first he pushed in farther, only to pull back again. When I arched my back against him, he picked up the pace, groaning as he did so.

He rested his head against my shoulder as he pounded in and out of my body, making my inner walls shake.

He was so attuned to me that it felt like I knew him for years. That we had been doing this for years.

My moans increased as I approached my climax, my inner walls tightening around him.

He groaned, "Oh, God, Bella!"

I arched my back, reaching my climax for the second time.

He pushed into me once more before he reached his own climax.

Lucky bastard finally remembered a condom. I shook my head, I was still waiting for my period.

Which reminded me of a very unpleasant conversation I was about to have with him. Now!

He rolled off me, gasping for breath. His eyes were shut and he was breathing heavily. He quickly disposed of the condom and in the trash bucket next to his bed. He lay back again on the bed, puling the blankets up around us. I cuddled in next to him, smiling when his strong arms wrapped tightly around me.

I had no idea where to start...I mean I didn't even know if I was pregnant yet...and quite frankly I didn't want to kill the moment.

We lay there for God knows how long. Not saying anything. Just breathing.

I let my eyes slip close, totally content.

***

"Bella?" Edward asked quietly.

I opened my eyes. I was still cuddled against his side.

"Yeah?" I whispered.

"My dad's home you should probably go." I looked up at him and bit my lip.

There was no way I was leaving him alone with his father.

"I'm not leaving you."

"You shouldn't be here. I don't want you to get hurt because of me." Just those words warmed my heart.

"Edward." I shook my head. He didn't care about me he was just egging me on.

"Bella, please. Just climb out of the window again." He said his eyes were worried.

"No! I won't leave you!"

He sighed. "Please, Bella."

"Let me stay."

He sighed, closing his eyes. "Fine."

"Thank you." I stood up and got dressed quickly.

"Do you have a bathroom?" I asked quietly.

He pointed to a closed door.

"Thanks."

He nodded, eyes still closed.

I did my thing in the bathroom and aw shit, still no period.

I closed my eyes.

Fuck.

When I was done in the bathroom came back out to see Edward sitting on the edge of his bed with his back to me.

He had put on a pair of sweat pants. I saw his head tilt back in a jerking motion.

"What are you doing?"

He turned quickly, looking startled. In his hand were bottle of pills.

**************

**BPOV**

He didn't say anything for a long time. Almost as if he didn't realize that I had asked him a question.

His eyes looked a little hooded.

That scared me.

"What are those for?" I asked quietly.

He looked down at the bottle, swallowing loudly. "These?"

"No, the other ones." I said sarcastically.

His forehead creased.

"Sarcasm," I said quietly.

"I know. Why are you being rude?"

"Because I want to know what's in that bottle." I said. I walked over to him and kneeled on the bed next to him.

"Nothing, see?" He held it up.

It was empty.

"How many did you take?" I whispered, taking the bottle. My eyes were getting blurry so I couldn't see what the label said.

"I dunno..." He slurred a little. "Only like three."

"Three? Then why are they gone?"

He closed his eyes and shrugged. "How many were you supposed to take?"

He shrugged again. I felt the tears running down my face, wiping them off quickly I glanced at the bottle again.

_Vicodin_

_Mr. Edward Cullen_

_Take two pills when needed_.

All right, I turned it over looking for side effects. Sure, there were side effects but not for a drug overdose.

I threw the bottles on the bed and stood up. Edward seemed to be breathing kind of heavy. I grabbed his face. "Look at me."

He had some difficulty focusing, but he did. "Stay awake."

"So tired."

"I don't care! You stay with me! All right, stay here!" I said.

"Can I lie down?" His voice was definitely slurred. His eyelids fluttered a little and I felt the tears coming back.

"No. Sit up, I'm going to check the Internet for overdose symptoms."

His forehead creased, "Didn't...over...dose."

His eyes drifted closed.

"No!" I screeched.

His eyes opened again.

"Keep talking to me, okay, no, here call Alice." I handed him a cell phone.

He shook his head, "She'd kill me."

"Call her, you should have thought of that in the first place. Edward, you could die."

He looked at me for a long time without saying anything. He shrugged.

So this was his plan then?

I grabbed the phone, dialing Alice's number as fast as I possibly could. I moved my fingers so fast that I messed up and had to do it again.

"Hello?" Alice answered after about the third ring.

"Alice! It's Bella, get home now!"

"What happened?" She asked instantly serious.

"Edward..." I glanced over at him. He was lying on the bed now, eyes closed, face completely calm. I started to hyperventilate. I ran over to the bed, "Edward! Edward, wake up!"

I checked his pulse.

Too slow.

Much, much too slow.

"SHIT!"

"Bella, tell me what happened." Alice demanded. I could here an engine of a car. Good.

"He overdosed."

"Overdosed on what?"

"Pain killers."

Pause.

"What kind of pain killers?" She asked her voice was tense.

"Vic...vica...Vicodin." I said grabbing the bottle.

"No! I am going to murder him."

"You might not have to." I whispered.

"Oh my gosh. Did you call 911?"

"Not yet..."

"CALL THEM!"

"Right!" I hung up the phone and dialed quickly while darting over to his laptop. I flipped it opened and went on Google.

"911, how may I help you?"

"My...my friend, I think he overdosed on Vicodin." I said into the receiver. I couldn't contain the panic.

"Ma'am, please remain calm, can you give us the address you are at right now?"

"Yeah," I told the her address quickly, thanking the Lord that Alice gave it to me. Once Google came up I typed in _Vicodin overdose_.

Staring at the computer screen impatiently, I drummed my fingers against the desk.

"What are his symptoms?" The lady asked.

"His heart beat is really slow, and he said he was really tired, he fell asleep and I tried to wake him up but I can't, please hurry." I sobbed.

"We'll be there soon."

"Okay," I clicked the phone off while I scrolled down Google looking desperately for a website.

Finally finding one that looked promising, I clicked it open.

There were a list of symptoms that made my heart wrench.

_**Symptoms of a Vicodin Overdose**_

_The hydrocodone component of Vicodin may cause the following symptoms in the case of an overdose: _

_Difficulty breathing _

_Extreme drowsiness, leading to a coma _

_Cold, clammy skin _

_A slow heart rate (bradycardia) _

_Low blood pressure (hypotension) _

_Cardiac arrest _

_Loss of life. _

_The acetaminophen component of Vicodin may cause the following symptoms in the case of an overdose: _

_Nausea _

_Vomiting _

_Diarrhea _

_Loss of appetite _

_Sweating _

_Irritability _

_Yellowing of the whites of the eyes and skin (jaundice) _

_Dark urine _

_Confusion _

_Low blood sugar (hypoglycemia) _

_Bleeding _

_Liver failure _

_Loss of life. _

I looked back over at him. He looked comatose. My breathing spiked and I could feel my heart pounding.

I jumped up from the chair and ran over to him, placing my hands on his face. His skin was cold, clammy. Great...

I watched as his chest lifted, faltered for a second and then collapsed down again.

Oh, _please_ don't do this to me!

"Please, Edward, please!" I begged, repeating my thoughts. His eye lids fluttered and my heart did as well. Why was doing this!?

I ran my fingers along his sweaty face, sobbing.

I could hear the ambulance coming. Hurry I thought.

The door burst open and Alice and Emmett ran in.

I looked up at them with worried eyes.

"Alice..." I shook my head.

His breathing stuttered again. It was getting worse.

Alice looked at me, tears in her eyes. "I can't believe..."

Her voice trailed off. We all knew what she didn't say...'I can't believe he would try to kill himself.'

***

EPOV

Bella walked into the bathroom.

My eyes were closed and I lay sprawled across the bed.

Did I want to do this?

Not naked.

I got up and threw on a pair of boxers and sweat pants.

I ran my fingers threw my hair as I sat down nervously. I sighed. I closed my eyes, thinking about the accident.

I couldn't help it. The memories were just taunting me, reminding me of what I could never change.

So I asked again.

Did I want to do this?

What about Alice?

What about Emmett?

What about...Bella?

I squeezed my eye tighter as my hands gripped my hair. I wanted to scream. There was no way I could live like this, but I didn't want to cause Alice and Emmett pain.

And my father...well, he wouldn't have to deal with me anymore.

I picked up the nearly full bottle of Vicodin. My hands shook as I pulled the cap off. I took two.

Two more.

Another two.

I shook my head. I shoved five in my mouth, throwing my head back swallowed. Four more.

My hands were getting shaky. Why was it so hard to breath? Did it really kick in this fast? Gasping, I grabbed the rest, there were like four more and popped them into my mouth.

Jerking my head back again, I heard the door click.

"What are you doing?"

I turned around startled and saw Bella staring at the empty bottle of pills with a horrified expression.

I felt my eyes sliding closed. I fought to stay awake. I had a massage to deliver. She needed to tell Alice that I loved her. And Emmett too.

"What are those for?" She asked. Her voice sounded strangled.

"These?" I asked looking down at the bottle.

"No, the other ones."

I looked back up at her, confused. What did she mean. I didn't have another bottle.

"Sarcasm." She muttered.

"I know." Well I do now. "Why are you being so rude?"

Sarcasm wasn't polite and even thought she teased me, she was never rude. Why now? Maybe she wanted me to die...

"Because I want to know what's in that bottle." She said, walking over to me. Wow, it was really hard to focus.

I looked down at the bottle. There isn't anything thing in it... "Nothing, see."

I held it up for her to see. She looked panicked.

"How many did you take?" She snatched the bottle, struggling to read the contents. Did she need glasses? Maybe I'll buy some for her...oh...well, maybe Alice can...

Huh, that is weird...I briefly considered not living anymore...

Bella pulled me out of my reverie by looking at me expectantly.

What did she ask? Oh, right... "I dunno...only like three."

Or more...no reason to get worried, love. I do love you by the way.

I tried to say it, but nothing came out.

"Three? Then why are they gone?"

I shrugged. 'Cause I took them, obviously.

"How many were you supposed to take?"

Woman, I don't know! I just want to sleep! I shrugged again.

I started breathing heavier.

"Look at me." My eyes were closed?

I struggled to open them. When I did I saw that she was crying. "Stay awake."

"So tired." I whispered.

"I don't care! You stay with me! All right, stay here!" She said frantically.

"Can I lie down?" Please...let my final moments be peaceful, woman...

"No. Sit up, I'm going to check the Internet for overdose symptoms." She said.

I didn't like how that sounded. "Didn't...over...dose..."

My eye fluttered closed. She didn't like that.

"No!" She half screamed.

My eyes opened, startled.

"Keep talking to me, okay, no, here call Alice." Alice, uh, oh...

"She'd kill me." That she would. If I wasn't dead by the time she got here.

I briefly considered that...oh, that would suck.

"Call her, you should have thought of that in the first place. Edward, you could die." Bella sounded distracted. I stared at her.

She didn't know what I was doing. I suddenly felt guilty. I shrugged, trying to make it seem like no big deal.

She started babbling into the phone with my sister I guessed.

I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly...feeling an awful constriction in my chest.

It didn't hurt.

Nothing hurt.

I felt so...light.

As if I thought I would fly away, I fell back on the bed, spreading my arms wide. I gasped, trying to breath.

Ah, there was the pain.

But it was fading.

I was fading.

It didn't matter.

Nothing mattered.

Nothing hurt now. If I had known that dieing felt this good, I would have done it long ago.

I barely noticed when my eyes slid closed and I barely noticed the soft hands on my face.

"Ed...War...wake..." was all I heard.

It was weird.

It kind of felt like I was swimming.

Everything was black and I couldn't see anything. Nothing at all. But it felt nice. Really nice.

There was no more pain...no more anything.

************

**EPOV**

Something stirred in the back of my head.

Or was it the front? I didn't really know. What I did know was that it was there. _Something_ was there. And whatever it was I didn't want to see it.

I fought against it, pushing myself back into the darkness. I did not want to see the light.

I did not want to live.

The one thing I was blocking out! The one thing I wanted to lose! The whole reason for taking my own life! I could live with Carlisle! I could live without my mother! I could get Bella to love me! I needed to stay with Alice and Emmett, but the one thing I couldn't live with...was coming back to me...

No, no, no, no, no...please, Lord, no. God no!

I couldn't live with the fact that I had...

I had killed my own mother.

Regardless of the fact that it was an 'accident.' Fuck that! It wasn't a fucking accident! If I had stayed home she would be alive. If I had just driven for her, she would be alive. If...if I came _back_ she would be alive.

I was selfish.

I choose my own worthless life over my own mother's.

And now she was dead.

I let it in. The memory swirled into my head confronting me, shoving reality back into my face like a battering ram. I wanted to fight it! Make it go away!

But I wasn't weak enough for that any more. My body was stronger. I wasn't going to die.

Yet.

_"Mom!" I screamed as a deer ran out in the middle of the road. I felt rather than heard her scream as she swerved off the road, crashing threw the guard rail. I watched in horrified silence as the headlights lit up the furious water crashing against the rocks below us._

_Time seemed to crawl. Sucking me into a vortex I couldn't escape from. I heard my mother's scream. I was terrified myself, but I couldn't make a sound._

_I was frozen._

_In panic._

_In shock._

_In guilt._

_Even then I knew it was my fault. Even on the verge of death. I was still frozen as the car crashed threw the surface of the water, plummeting down so fast. Too fast. It felt like a dream._

_A nightmare._

_Everything was blurry under the surface of the water and the light from the headlights wasn't very sufficient. So I nearly had a heart attack when I saw a huge, pointed rock headed straight towards the windshield. The car had already started to fill with water, but once the rock shattered the glass the water flew in, not giving us a chance to take a deep enough breath._

_And then I felt it. The excruciating pain ripping threw my chest and arm. I screamed out, my voice muffled from the water, and the water turned a frightening red._

_But the pain began to fade as the icy water numbed my skin. I couldn't see anything in both the fog of blood and the darkness but I could feel the absence of my seat belt. The bolder had cut it. I could no longer see my mother. The rock was still wedged painfully into my side, crunching my left arm in the process. The pain was nearly unbearable, but I was still free. I kicked out the rest of the windshield and barely crawled out. I turned quickly trying to find her._

_Esme was tugging uselessly at her seat belt. The rock had not harmed her. But her seat belt was still intact. I tried to get her out but I could feel the strain on my lungs as I ran out of air. Also my left arm was completely unusable in the state it was in. Any pressure I put on the left side of my body in general would send black spots into my vision as the pain nearly became too much._

_But I had to get her out!_

_I had to._

_I had to!_

My eyes opened. I could hear a furious beeping noise somewhere in the distance. It was beeping rapidly. And then it occurred to me. It was a heart monitor. I had waken up to this sound way too many times in the past not to recognize it.

My vision was slightly blurry. I blinked against it trying to see. Everything became clear after a second, but my eyes sting, as if they hadn't seen light in years. I felt...weak. Well, that was an understatement I suppose.

I heard a click and a nurse walked in.

Her blonde hair was tied up tightly behind her head into a neat pony-tail. Her face lit up slightly and it took a second of thought to realize _who_ I was looking at.

"Mrs. Hale?" I asked weakly.

She smiled wider, her light blue eyes shining. Wendy Hail looked just like a forty-year-old version of Rosalie and female version of Jasper.

I registered that it was very difficult to breath. The air seemed as if it was refusing to enter fast enough.

"Edward! I am so glad you are okay! Alice and Emmett have been so worried about you! It's all they can seem to talk about now days. You're always on our minds. We're just glad you finally decided to wake up."

I looked at her in tired confusion. Why was it taking so long to register everything? "How long have I been...comatose?"

I really didn't want to know the answer to that, but knew I had to.

She sighed, "You've been out for about a month."

This got my attention immediately. "A month!?" I meant it to come out in a girly-like screech but it was just a horrified whisper.

She nodded grimly. I felt my self sigh. My father didn't pull the plug on my life support. That was surprising...and disappointing.

"Where are Alice and Emmett?" I asked quietly.

"They're home sleeping it's about one thirty in the morning." She said quietly and began working on my IV and checking charts.

I just lay there utterly still and completely unmoving.

"Do you know if...Isabella Swan has been in here at all, to see me I mean?" I whispered staring at the wall. My eyes were getting heavy and my body started to feel numb and light again.

Was I dieing?

I certainly hoped so.

"Yes, she came in yesterday. She been a wreck lately. Especially since she just found out that-"

"Mrs. Hale, you have a telephone call when ever you are ready to take it. It seems rather urgent."

Her head snapped up and I saw worry marring her beautiful features. For a middle-aged women she really was attractive. Not that I thought of her in a sexual way or anything, more like my second mother.

I had known her since I was six.

"Excuse me, Edward, I think I have to take this." She said, smiling at me.

The other nurse walked in and began finishing what she started.

I didn't like this nurse. Her first words to me were rude...beyond belief.

"So you tried to kill yourself huh?" She asked, briskly.

"I wouldn't call it that." I said as I stared at the wall again. My eyes were fixed on a small crack in the wall. I took pleasure in the fact that I was not sharing a room with anyone. But then I thought back to what Mrs. Hale had said. What did Bella just find out?

"Oh, really what would you call taking twenty pills of Vicodin then?" She asked bitterly sarcastic.

I looked over at her then. "Being in pain."

She didn't know half of it.

"Sure that's what they all say. Suicide victims are screwed up. I don't know why we bother trying to help them. They want to die anyway."

"You're a nurse for God's sakes. What the hell did you become one for if you didn't have desire to save those in need? And I am not a suicide victim."

Lies.

But I was still shocked at her. This woman thought that people who were in pain, suffering from something she obviously didn't understand, should die anyway.

How could she think that? I felt a piece of my dignity snap and crack away.

I would be known as the 'doctor's son who killed himself over his deceased mother.'

This made the memories come back.

Oh, God. If only the rest of the world knew.

"Tell yourself what ever it is you want. But you're an asshole. Isn't that Swan girl your new girlfriend?" Why was she being so rude to me?

"Kind of. We never made it official." Where was this leading to?

She shook her head, "You, dick. You get the kid pregnant and then you overdose."

With that she turned and walked out of the room.

.................My mind went completely blank.................

Not possible.

I swallowed loudly.

Not possible.

I blinked looking at the crack in the wall.

Not possible.

She couldn't be.

Not possible.

Pregnant? It was hard to even think the word. I shook my head, I wasn't going to believe some bitchy old lady. I'd talk to her about it.

Aw, I couldn't think! My eyes were drifting close. I felt them droop slightly I fought against it.

I couldn't remember it again. I couldn't I wouldn't survive it this time.

What am I talking about? I can't survive it anyway. No matter what I thought about those stupid sedative that the nurse gave me was kicking in.

Why did I have to have a sedative!? I was recovering from an overdose not a car-no I wouldn't about that.

I fought against the stupor pointlessly. I didn't want to see that memory.

_My lungs burned. I thought they were going to collapse. My mother shoved against my chest. I would have screamed if I had any air left. It felt like my whole body was broken. She glared at my and pointed to the surface of the water._

_I shook my head rapidly._

_She pushed against me again. The pain welled up so strongly that I saw black for a few seconds. I should have kissed her told her I loved her, but all I did was kick off the rock and propelled myself up threw the surface of the water._

_My head broke the surface. I gasped trying to suck the air in. All I could hear was the water crashing against the rock and a cry of agony. I couldn't figure out who it was coming from. I was alone in the water. But then I realized it was me._

_My body hurt so bad and without my left arm I couldn't barely stay above the surface, never mind swim. I was starting to see black again._

_I vaguely heard a car drive by and saw blue flashing lights. I saw a bright light being shone in my eyes and I turned my face away from it._

"_Hey, kid! Are you okay?" I recognized the chief of Police's, Charlie Swan, voice._

_I couldn't say anything. All I could see was black and there was too much pain._

***

My mind wandered forward a little, to the first time Carlisle told me he hated me.

_I was sitting in my room, looking at pictures of my mom and me. I hadn't spoken since she died a month ago and I knew that Alice and Emmett were starting to get worried._

_Frequently, my father came home drunk since Esme died and he hadn't said a word to me._

_I sighed quietly and wrapped myself up into a ball. I missed my mom so much. And my dad too for that matter. He was so different, so broken._

_I let my eyes slide closed._

_I heard a door slam and I woke up laying on the ground with the pictures still in hand. I sat up and realized my father was in the room, waking over to me._

_He seemed really mad._

"_Hey, Dad..." I said nervously. The look he was giving me, was horrifying and I shut immediately._

"_I want you to know something." He walked over and crouched next to me, his eyes turning dark, "I hate you. Your mother is dead because of you. Because you didn't save her. Because you went to a party that we strictly forbid you to go to. This is your fault. And I wish more then anything that you had died in her place."_

_With that he stood and walked out of the room._

_I knew my face betrayed shock, but I couldn't figure out how to compose it._

_***_

"Edward..." The voice sounded familiar, but distant.

My eyes fluttered. "Edward?"

It was closer now. "Please wake up."

I opened my eyes slowly. It was easier to focus now. Bella sat in the chair next to me.

Without thinking I blurted the first thing that popped into my head. "Are you pregnant?"

She raised her eyebrows in shock. "Where did you hear that?"

"Please answer the question." I whispered.

She looked away. When she turned back she was furious. "Yeah! I am! And do you know whose fault it is!?"

I already knew what her next words were going to be. Obviously.

"Yours!" She shook her head. "And then you go off and over-dose on Vicodin, what the hell!? I can't believe you would do that! To your sister. To your brother. To me!"

I looked at her for a long time. "I didn't know."

She chuckled grimly. "Yeah, I know. Well guess what? I'm keeping it."

I looked away again. I really didn't know what to say to that. My jaw was clenched in anger and frustration.

I didn't want to live...and I give life to a new being.

Could life _get_ any more ironic?

I sighed loudly and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Where's Alice," I asked with my eyes closed.

"Oh, so now you care?" My eyes flew open at the sound of her voice. Alice walked into the room glaring at me.

I couldn't help it but a large smile broke through my face. I knew that I would now endure hell from my twin sister, but it was worth it.

I got to see her face again!

"Don't give me a cheesy smile! I will smack it off your face, Edward! So help me I will!" She yelled glaring.

Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper filed in the room smiling like morons.

"Nice to see you up finally." Emmett said.

I smiled at him, "Hey, Em."

His famous cheeky grin broke out and he hugged me tight. I was pleased to find my rib didn't hurt any longer, but then it just reminded me of how long I was gone for.

"Where's dad," I asked quietly.

Emmett pulled back to look me in the eye. "He's at a conference in Minnesota. He'll be back Thursday."

"You _do_ realize I have no idea what day it is today, right?" I asked, annoyed. Moron.

"Oh, It's Sunday."

I sighed again, glancing at Bella. She was glaring at me. I ran my eyes over her body, trying to see if there was a bulge to her stomach at all.

Not that I could see.

I was getting...anxious, to say at the least.

Chief Swan already hated me and this would make things worse.

Closing my eyes, I pushed away all the dignity I had left and poured my heart out to them all. Bella especially.

Rosalie and Jasper knew about my dad so I knew it was safe to explain why I did it.

When I finished, they all stared at me opened mouthed.

Basically I told them I loved them all of them - looking at Bella when I said that - and I just couldn't deal with the fact that Esme's was, entirely my fault. I couldn't stand that my father hated me. I couldn't stand that I let them all down.

Alice spoke first. "Of, course we forgive you...but-" I flinched at the word. There was always a but. "But you have to promise to never do that again! It isn't your fault, Edward! Stop getting yourself over something you had no control over." I opened my mouth to speak, but she stopped me, "You. Had. No. Control. Over. It."

I looked away and didn't say anything. I didn't believe that.

The next thing I felt were a million arms wrapped around me, and I felt safe. If only for a moment. At least I knew that I had a family that would always love me no matter what. I hugged the all back, and kissed Bella with so much passion I thought that the whole hospital would burst into flames.

When she finally pulled away, her face was flushed and she looked like the happiest person on earth.

"I love you, too." Was all she said.

Ah, life wasn't as bad as I thought it was.

As long as she was here, nothing else mattered.


	6. Therapy Yep, Therapy

Chapter 5: Therapy...Yep, Therapy...

**BPOV**

Oh that little bastard! Playing the one card I couldn't refuse.

He loved me.

He loved me!

YES! HE LOVED ME!

And I loved him, and my baby would have a father, all because he loved me!

And when I left the hospital that night after long discussions of..._our_ child with him, all I could think was, he loved me.

When I drove home, all I could see was his face. As I ate my dinner, all I could see was his face. As I got ready for bed all I could see was face. And when I fell asleep, all I could dream about was him, me, and our baby.

A beautiful baby boy, that I would name Edward. And we would love each other for the rest of eternity.

***

When I woke up, I felt like a moron. Sure he loved me, but I forgot something: life wasn't perfect.

***

I got to school late that day. Edward was released from the hospital tomorrow and I was busy worrying about him.

All through out the school day I could only think of him and I didn't want to accept the fact that I was overly-obsessed with him. So I settled on telling myself that I wasn't obsessed, I was just excited my kid got a dad.

Hopefully, a good dad. When school got out Edward was still on my mind and I was ready to murder him.

It was all his fault that I couldn't stop thinking about him. He was the one who told me he loved me after all.

I practically ran into the elevator and was jumping up and down in excitement. This was by far the longest day of my life.

As soon as his room number entered my line of sight, my heart sped up in anticipation. All my waiting would finally be paid off.

I opened the door slowly and peaked in.

He was sitting up in bed poking a piece of Jell-O. His face was very disgruntled looking and I fought back the urge to burst out laughing.

He looked so adorable sitting there; like a pouty child.

I walked in slowly, keeping the smile off my face and my walk casual, when in reality, I wanted to ram into him and hug him until his face turned blue.

He looked up then and a brilliant smile lit up his face, Jell-O forgotten.

I sat down next to him and couldn't help my own smile break across my face and wash away all the stress of the day.

God, I'm being so corny...

And I liked it.

"Hi, I missed you." He said quietly, raising his hand and stroking my cheek. The jolt I felt when he touched me did amazing things to my body and I very nearly melted.

"I missed you, a lot. School was amazingly boring without you."

He chuckled, "School is amazingly boring with _or_ without me." I smiled.

"So...what have you been up to all day?" I asked nonchalantly. I really just wanted to hear his velvety voice.

He groaned quietly, throwing his head back on the pillow. "Absolutely..._nothing_."

"Okay Mr. Drama King, you're getting out tomorrow, I'm sure you can withstand, like what, two more hours?"

"Something like that." He muttered, picking up the piece of Jell-O again off the tray. "Jell-O?"

I laughed, "No, thanks, you had your hands all over it."

He raised his eyebrows, "Wow, Bella."

"What?"

Rolling his eyes, he got all scientific, "Most humans carry the same amount of germs. My fingers transmitting my own germs onto the piece of gelatin will not harm you in any sort of way. Not unless I had some sort of virus, which I don't. Also my own DNA is inside you at this very moment, for you to get all girly over a piece gelatin I merely touched after sleeping with me twice, is really stupid."

I sighed. "I don't want the damn Jell-O, Edward, okay?"

"Whatever..." he popped the piece into his mouth and turned the TV on.

We sat in silence for a little while watching the news, until he finally broke the silence. "Bella?"

I turned to look at him, "Yeah?"

He looked down at the tray of practically untouched food. "Do you...," he paused for a second and seemed to do decided to ask another question, "If you could do over the fact that...you got pregnant...would you...would you do it?"

I thought for a minute. "Yeah, I would."

He nodded without looking at me and continued to watch the news.

The silence became intense and I couldn't take it anymore. "So when do you get out?"

"The doctor is coming in to check me one last time and if everything is okay, then I'm going home. Alice is coming in a few minutes to drop my car off, and bring me some clothes."

I nodded. I stared at the TV, not really seeing it or even hearing the voices, all I could concentrate on was his reaction when I told him I would have decided not to get pregnant.

Why did that hurt him?

Well, it didn't make sense. _He_ didn't make sense and if I told him that he'd just say, "My brilliance confuses people."

I smiled to myself. He was funny.

"Something funny?" He asked quietly. His face was smooth and blank.

"I was just thinking about how funny you are." I smiled at him.

His forehead creased. "Why am I funny?"

I rolled my eyes, "Because of some of the things you say. Did those pills kill your brains cells?"

His eyes narrowed and he looked away, glaring at the TV. "Possible."

His voice and statement made my stomach drop into my feet. "Someone's cranky today." I muttered, hoping to lighten the mood.

His eyes narrowed further and he looked livid.

"Edward." I said, grabbing his hand.

He looked at me, his face still furious. "What's your problem?"

His teeth clenched, "Nothing."

"Fine then." I stood up, intending to leave.

He grabbed my hand. "Don't...please."

His eyes were softer now, but held so much pain, I suddenly understood everything. How much pain he was actually in. It looked like he was drowning. He wasn't lying when he said he couldn't deal with it. From the looks of it, I doubt I could either.

I saw moister brim at the corner of his eyes and his lips pouted out a little. He swallowed loudly, and blinked, the moister disappearing, but the pain was still there. It was heart breaking.

"Edward..." I grasped his face tightly. "You know I love you, right?"

He nodded, seemingly unable to speak.

"You know I'm here for you?"

He nodded again.

I sat back down, and looked him directly in his eyes, still grasping tightly onto his face, "I won't pretend to know what you're going through, but you can always tell me about it. I'll listen, whether or not you call me at three in the morning."

He smiled slightly, "Thanks."

I smiled back widely and kissed him, fiercely.

"All right you two, enough sucking face. It's time to lock and load and get my brother home. Besides, his rib is good now so we can play football." Emmett said, as he and Alice marched into the room.

Emmett was holding car keys and Alice was holding a bag of clothes.

"Alice, I swear to God, if you dress me up like a Ken doll, I will shave half you head and an eyebrow while you sleep." Edward threatened, his eyes turning dangerous.

Alice's eyes narrowed. "We can do this the easy way or the hard way, Edward. And I don't have time for the hard way. I'm meeting Jasper in an hour to go see the premier of Harry Potter, and _I_ swear to God, if you make me late for this, I'll cut your balls off."

Edward smiled widely, "That's okay, I already got my girlfriend pregnant, thanks."

My mouth fell open with an audible pop, and Alice narrowed her eyes, "Edward!"

"Yes, sweet, adorable, baby sister?" Edward cooed, smiling widely. At least he was feeling better.

"God! You are so annoying!" She screeched.

"Alice, this is a hospital. No screeching." Edward said, his smile widening.

"Ah!" she growled. "I will not hurt my brother. I will not hurt my brother. I am with Jasper now, I'm not anywhere near my brother." Alice chanted, grasping her tiny head.

Edward laughed loudly.

"Mission accomplished." Emmett and Edward said at the same time.

The doctor walked in then, saving Edward from a very irritated little pixy.

"Alice how about we go talk in the hallway?" I asked, desperately trying to distract her. She looked at me gratefully, and we strode into the hallway.

"Relax, just be glad he's back to teasing, and not wallowing in self-pity and hatred, because he was earlier." I murmured, watching as her eyes softened.

Tears began to well up and her bottom lip pouted out. "If I had any idea that he couldn't deal with it, I would have been a better sister, we would have tried harder to-"

"Alice, stop!" I demanded, looking at her sternly. She looked miserable.

"Look, the last thing I want is for you to go off and wallow in self pity like your over-dramatic twin; you did nothing wrong. In fact, you did everything right! You are the best sister any one can hope for, and all that really matters is that he's okay."

She smiled slightly and nodded.

We waited silently, for a few minutes until Edward came out, once again looking like a pouting child. He was fully dressed but looked all too skinny. Even under the clothing.

"You okay?" I asked quietly.

His shoulders slumped and he nodded sadly. I knew there was something wrong but decided not to push it, he'd tell me when he was ready.

I sighed.

I would do everything to help him.

I truly did love him.

***********

**EPOV**

I watched as Bella casually strolled from the room with my sister. The doctor was smiling at me kindly, however there was something in his expression that turned my stomach.

I had a feeling I wouldn't like what he was about to tell me...

"So, Mr. Cullen. I checked your charts and everything seems to be all set and ready to go. Are feeling okay?"

I nodded once, wanting him to tell me the bad news already...

"Good, however I have some...news. It isn't necessarily bad, though it could be depending on how you look at it..."

I kept my face calm and controlled. I already knew there was bad news.

"Considering this is your first suicide attempt, and you seem perfectly stable besides the incident two months ago, I am going to let you get off easy. However if this doesn't work I will require more from you." He waited for me to respond, but I didn't, so he continued. "I am assigning you to therapy. I have a wonderful doctor all lined up and-"

"Therapy?" I asked quietly.

My mind went strangely blank. All I could think of was Harriet the Spy and the stupid therapist guy that she had to see...

I hated therapists...no wonder I knew something bad was coming.

"Well, yes, but-"

"Like with a therapist?"

He nodded.

My eyes narrowed, but I didn't respond. Oh well, at least I wasn't being committed. I sighed quietly.

"Please don't...mention...this to anyone...I don't...I don't want them to find out?"

He nodded, "Of course."

"And by..._more_ you mean, you'll have me committed?" Still I kept my voice calm.

"Yes, so I will need you to cooperate. For now I am assigning six months of therapy. But on good behavior you may be able to get off early."

It's funny how immediately when he said six months I thought that Bella would be eight months along. But I couldn't help the frown that formed across my face as I thought of..._our_ baby. I - I thought that Bella would be equally excited, even though she is young, we both are...but we don't really have a choice...maybe am just being emotional from all those stupid pain pills...I grimaced at that.

"All right you're free to go. I'll see you around, Edward."

I nodded, and smiled, though it was more of a grimace.

After changing quickly, I marched from the hospital room, looking Bella in the eye, but then snuck a peek at her stomach to see if there were any changes from the five minutes we were away.

"You okay?" she asked quietly.

_No! I have to go to therapy!_ But my shoulders slumped forward knowing that she would laugh at me if I told her, so I just nodded sadly.

I heard a soft sigh, but kept my eyes down on the impossibly clean and pure white hospital tiles.

"Let's get you home." Alice said quietly.

I glanced up at her. She smiled widely. My lips twitched up, and I nodded. She seemed to be less agitated now, which I was glad about.

***

I got home at around six, chuckling as Alice flitted out of the door, as Jasper's 1965 jet black Ford Mustang Cammer pulled up. I loved that car. Almost as much as my Vanquish. But Jasper's car was just so...so...not to sound girly but..._pretty_.

Bella caught me ogling the car and she chuckled. "So what do you want to do in this big empty house for the next few hours?" I turned to ogle her.

"I can think of a few things." My voice turned suggestive and she giggled.

"Will you give me a tour of the house, now that it's empty?"

I glared, "That wasn't exactly what I had in mind, but whatever."

I showed her every single room in the house and eventually finished with taking her outside to the trampoline Alice and I got when we were younger. We never used it anymore.

I climbed up and sat in the middle waiting for her to join me.

"Really?" she asked.

I shrugged, "Why not?"

She chuckled, "What ever you say."

I watched as she slipped off her sneakers and climbed up onto the trampoline, scooting next to me in the middle.

"Should pregnant people be on here?" She asked, glancing at me. I shrugged.

"Well, you're not bouncing, so..." I trailed off, not feeling the need to finish.

I lay back, spreading my arms, inviting her to join me. She smiled lightly and curled into my side. I trailed my fingers over the skin of her face, smiling lightly at her.

"Now that I gave you the tour is there anything _else_ you'd like to do?" My eyebrows wagged, and she giggled.

"Definitely. I'm hungry."

I watched in disbelief as she climbed off the infernal contraption and sauntered on into the house.

"I'll give you something eat!" Jumping off the trampoline in one quick motion and throwing my shoes back on in another I ran towards her. As soon as she saw me, she darted into the house, slamming the door and giggling as she ran away.

"Catch me if you can!" Her voice carried out threw an open window in the kitchen. "Try and stop a pregnant woman from eating and see what happens!"

I chuckled as I threw the door open. "I said I'd feed you."

"Mmm...It's just _what_ you're planning on feeding me is the problem. Do you have any ice cream?" She asked standing in front of the freezer, holding the door open. I smiled, planning something evil out in my head.

"Try looking in the bottom shelf." I said, watching hungrily as she bent over, searching. Her ass jutted right out in the air, and I swallowed automatically.

"I don't see it," she called over her shoulder. I smirked.

"Really? It should be in there, dig a little deeper." _Oh yes, PLEASE, dig a little deeper, Oh God, yes just like that, _I thought as she reached in further which made her jeans slide down her hips a little, exposing a very small baby blue g-string. I felt my mouth grow dry. Something else was growing too.

"Nope, I don't see it."

"Huh," I walked towards the fridge and leaned on the counter next to it, trying to see down her shirt. "Maybe if you look at the next shelf up. It could be in there."

"Kay." She lifted herself up a little and started shifting things around in the freezer trying to find it. The movement made her shirt slip downwards and I caught the perfect view of the side of her baby blue bra. Very lacy, I noted with satisfaction.

As I looked back up to her face I froze.

She was sitting there, looking up at me, holding a container of hood ice scream, smiling deviously and I felt my stomach drop into my toes.

I've been caught red handed.

"Enjoying the view?" Bella asked in a sweet voice.

"Uh...I don't know what you're talking about." I said, innocently.

"Huh, because it looked to me like you were trying to see down my shirt." Her eyes brows raised.

I swallowed.

"Still don't know what you mean." I muttered, grabbing a spoon out of the door in hopes to make amends.

She rolled her eyes, "Thanks."

I smiled at the bitterness in her voice. "You're welcome."

She looked up at me then, "Do you want some?"

"Hell yes!" I smiled moving closer.

"_Ice cream_!"

"Oh, you're no fun!" I pouted, and she giggled. "Great you're laughing at me now. I'm offended."

I walked away, throwing my chin up in the air and walking away slowly. "Edward, I was just kidding." She giggled.

"No! Don't talk to me! I don't want your apologies." Throwing my hand up in the air, I stalked into the living room.

"What do you want then?" Bella had followed me in here, and was now stuffing her face with ice cream.

Smiling, I whispered, "I think you know." I let my eyes drag over the contours of her body.

Her lips curved up lightly. "I'll only give you what you want, if you tell me...in detail." Eyebrows lifted she waited expectantly.

My smirk was cocky as I spoke. "Well, that ice cream is just..._taunting_ me...I just want to smear it all over your naked body and lick it off."

She swallowed, and I grinned.

"That can be arranged." She stood up from the couch, "However. I think you'll have to chase me first." With that, she threw the container on my lap and ran away giggling the whole time. I huffed out in annoyance.

"Get back here!" I yelled, picking up the ice cream and darting up the stairs.

"Never!"

But I was gaining on her. She was clumsy and slow and I was quick and agile. She had nothing on me.

Abruptly I crashed into her, knocking her back against the wall. Her breath came out in a _whoosh_. My eyes widened.

"Are you okay?" I whispered, pressing my fingers against her stomach.

She nodded, "We're not _that_ fragile, Edward."

I sighed in relief. "Do I win?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, you win, okay?"

I ducked my head. "If you don't want to...I mean, I'm not forcing you to...I just thought..."

I trailed off.

"Edward." Her voice was soft as she grasped my face tightly. "I'll always want to. I love you remember?"

"Good, I love you too." I whispered, pressing my lips to hers.

I was rewarded with a moan. It set me into a frenzy and I shoved her into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. There was a light yip and something tugged on my pant leg. "Not now Hector, please?" I glanced down, finding Hector sitting there, watching me expectantly.

I sighed and pet him lightly. Bella giggled.

"You don't strike me as an animal person." Her hand scratched lightly against Hector's head.

"I have a lot of them. But, yeah I get that a lot." Smirking I stood up again and pulled her to the bed.

"Still hungry?" I asked her, pushing her down on her back and crawling over her.

"Definitely."

I grinned. "Good."

**A/N: Sorry to interrupt…I just wanted to say that, the awesome refrigerator scene, was actually from one of my favorite fan fictions, Love Ridden...**

***

**EPOV**

I stared up at the ceiling. A blanket was draped dangerously low on my hips…my breath came in rough pants. My skin was sticky from the now empty ice cream carton. My hands were behind my head. A small smile was playing with the corners of my mouth. She was tucked into my side.

"Uh…that was good." I whispered, my voice was rough from all the strain I had put on it.

She giggled, sitting up and straddling me. Once again I found myself hard.

"Mmm…" I smiled up at her. "I'm all sticky…"

Her light laugh sent delicious vibrations threw my chest and stomach. "Do you want me to take care of that? Vanilla is my favorite."

I smirked, "So I noticed."

Her lips moved to neck. Her tongue tracing over the skin below my ear. I groaned lightly.

"Shall we move this to the shower?"

She nodded. Lifting her up lightly, I pulled her into the bathroom.

I set her on the counter and turned on the shower quickly.

I couldn't keep my hands off of her while we waited for the water to heat up. Our moans echoed off of the walls of my large bathroom. I had her against the wall by now. Her legs firmly around my waist.

Absently, I reached into the shower, feeling the heat. It seemed warm enough, though it wasn't the _water's_ warmth I craved. It was hers. Bella's.

"Uhh…" I moaned as I stepped into the heat of the water with her still attached to me. Pressing her flush against the wall, I grabbed the soap.

I took my time. Running my fingers over her skin. Making sure I got all of the lovely ice cream off of that creamy surface. When I was satisfied, she took the soap from me and did the same to my body, her fingers lingering over the scars tracing my body.

"How did you get these?" She whispered.

I looked down at the shower floor. Staring at the water flowing into the drain beneath our feet.

"Different ways. These," I ran my fingers over my left arm and stomach, "Are from the…" I swallowed loudly, "accident."

She nodded, looking at them for a moment before speaking again. "And these?"

Her fingers traced over some light lines going across my thighs, "Self inflicted."

Her eyes widened.

"Don't worry," I said before she could speak. "I don't do that anymore."

She nodded, not really seeming to believe me. "What about this one?" I closed my eyes as her fingers brushed across my neck following the long trail that ran from my ear down to my shoulder.

"Carlisle."

Her hand dropped to her side and she turned her head away from me. I watched sadly as her neck constricted as she swallowed, her fists balled up tightly.

"How could someone's own…_father_ do that to him?" Bella's voice was strangled slightly, disgusted.

I looked back down, "When his own son took the life of his own beloved. If someone were to kill _you_ Bella," I cringed at the thought, "I don't care who it was, I would do much worse than what Carlisle did to me."

Her head snapped back to me, "You would kill him!?" She grabbed my hand and placed it on her stomach. "If it was an _accident_, Edward, you would kill your own _son!?"_

I looked away, "It wasn't an _accident,"_ I sneered the word, "I was doing something _WRONG,_ Bella! I shouldn't have _been_ there!"

Her head hung, "You made a mistake. You got enough punishment!"

I shook my head, "I will NEVER have enough punishment for taking my mother's life."

With that the conversation ended.

***

"WE'RE HAVING A PARTY!" Alice burst threw the door, screaming.

Me and Bella nearly fell off the couch. We were sitting watching a movie and then Alice had to ruin it…naturally."

"ALICE!! Do you _really_ need to scream!?" I shouted back, basically contradicting myself.

She looked at me for a long moment, before turning her expression to that of excitement. I sighed, and collapsed back into the couch dramatically. I paused the movie knowing it would be pointless to fight against Alice.

"Okay…go ahead." I muttered.

"Okay!" She squealed, clapping her hands together excitedly. I rolled my eyes as she continued. "So, you'll never guess!"

"Get on with it, woman!" I screamed, picking up a pillow and throwing at her stomach.

She glared at me for a second before giving in, "Fine. Dad isn't coming home until next week. So that means that we have a whole 'nother week to ourselves! So we are totally having a party!" I watched, board as she jumped and down clapping. Bella was curled into my side doing the same thing.

Bella sighed after a few seconds. "Can you hand me the remote please?" I gave it to her, watching the figures of Troy start to move across the screen again.

"Edward! You have seen this movie a million times! You don't even care that we are having a party?" Alice yelled, managing to get her tiny body to cover the entire 64" plasma screen by standing in front of me.

I moved around her to watch the screen. It wasn't my fault this movie was amazing and never got boring…I had a thing with war.

"Uh…not really, all that ever happens, is I get majorly drunk and screwed and then I wake up with some girl under my arm and a hang over. No thanks."

Bella glared at me.

"Oh sorry, I have no interest in other women, thanks, Alice." I added in for Bella's sake. Even though it was true. I did only want Bella now.

"UGH!!"

"How was Harry Potter?" I muttered, hoping to change the subject.

"Oh it was _awesome_ You and Bella should have come with us!! When Ron collapsed I thought he was going to die."

"Alice, you've read the books fifteen times each….at least."

"Even still!" She wailed, throwing her arms in the air. But suddenly her face darkened and she glared menacingly at me. I remained unmoved, "Don't think we're done talking about this, Butt-face." With that she got up and walked up the stairs to her room.

I smiled, "Whatever you say, Poptart!"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" She screamed down the stairs. Alice hated that nickname for some reason. I had been calling her that since we were five.

Chuckling lightly I turned back to the screen.

"Poptart?" Bella asked giggling.

"You don't want to know, babe."

"M'kay." She snuggled back into my body smiling.

***

Therapy. Yep, Therapy. That's were I was. I was wasting a perfectly good Tuesday morning in _therapy._

Missing school and everything.

I was sitting on a large red plush reclining chair. It was comfortable, I'll give you that. But what wasn't comfortable was the ticking of the metal clock on the light brown walls. The evil glare coming from Mr. Therapy-man, with his balding head and two inch thick brown and orange spotted, square framed glasses. What was left of his curly blond hair was tied back into a pony tail. He was sitting in front of his coffee table.

The soft brown carpet was speckled with a bright blinding light coming from over head. The light was too bright.

I shifted uncomfortably. My dark jeans sliding lightly against my legs, running down to my black DCs. My Metalica t-shirt clung to my chest tightly and the black and white stripped hoody. My hair was in its usual disarray. Comforting. The chair and my clothes were comforting. Everything else, was not.

I sighed, glancing out of the window behind the dude's head…

"Alright…so um…are you going to ask me stupid questions and then I pour my poor suffering heart out to you, a complete stranger, who, no offense, is totally creeping me out?"

I watched the man's lips twitch and he scribbled into his yellow notepad. I rolled my eyes.

"Take that as a no."

He ignored me, "So, Edward Cullen is it?"

I stared at him.

"My name is Dr. James Cauthron."

"That's wonderful! Would like a golden star?" I leaned forward, clapping my hands together in false animation.

He chuckled lightly, scribbling like a mad man.

"To answer your question, yes," For one wild second I thought he was referring to the star question, "I am going to ask you questions, but I don't expect you to 'pour your heart out to me.' But, I will ask you some simple questions…to start with."

I leaned back in my seat, "No golden star then…"

"So…how do you like school?"

"I love it. It's got this whole safety thing about it," I muttered sarcastically, "I mean _are you serious_!? You get paid for this!? Damn…"

He sighed. Good, I was annoying him. I smiled to myself.

I watched his eyes carefully, reading the depth in them. I could tell he was calculating me, as I him. But I knew better what he was thinking. I was closed and he was an open book, as were most people with the exception of Bella…

"Hmm…You do realize with out participation, you will be committed?"

I cocked my head to the side, "Funny…I always thought psychiatrists were supposed to be encouraging…Tell me, do you think I'm insane?"

He mirrored my movement, "No. But, I do think you have some serious problems that must be resolved or you will eventually go insane."

"Oooh, figure that out all by your lonesome?" I mocked, "Good job, another golden star is coming your way. As a matter of fact, I think I'm going to go get one for you, see you next week."

"Mr. Cullen, you need to face your problems. Walking out won't resolve them."

I chuckled, flipping him off as I walked from the room.

***

"Oh, look the emo-boy finally decided to come to school." Mike Newton yelled loudly as I stormed passed him. I needed Bella.

"What needed your mommy?"

That made me freeze in my tracks. I turned on my heel, walking swiftly back towards him. I saw his eyes widen as I got closer; my long legs taking me there in a mere three strides. Other people were gathering around now.

"Excuse me?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"You heard me," He lifted his chin, trying to act cool.

My fist clenched. My head nodded slowly, my jaw clenching and unclenching repetitively. Abruptly my fist shot up, without me even realizing, and punched him in the face.

He fell back, landing hard on his ass.

I walked away, but not before I heard people commenting on how 'uncool' it was for Mike to say that.

I walked into class. It was third block now. I had fucking Trig, or in my case Calculus.

Sighing quietly, I pulled out my book, but not before I got a few people staring at me. I slammed my book on the desk. People were filing in, stopping to stare at the suicidal boy, who unfortunately was me. My fists clenched tightly under the desk.

"If you have something to say, say it!" I said to no one in particular. Everyone turned around.

Alice walked in then, it was the only class I had with my sister. She came in and sat next to me.

"You okay so far?" I looked over at my twin sister, feeling suddenly unworthy of her…

"Nope," I popped the 'p.'

She sighed quietly, "Sorry, honey."

"Yeah…"

Silence.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" She asked quietly.

I looked over and glared at her, "I just gotta out of therapy, I didn't tell him shit, I'm not telling _anyone_ shit…sorry, kid."

She looked away.

I bit my nails, biting them down to the tops of my fingers, and kept biting. My hands were shaking lightly as I heard the teacher drone on about a problem he was working on the board. My mind was reeling, my body aching. Everything felt so…tense. There was a light ringing in my ears, and abruptly my head started pounding.

Stressed. I was unbearably stressed. This was how it felt before I, and I quote, _'overdosed.'_

I dropped my hand, from my mouth into my lap, feeling the tremors vibrate against my leg. I clutched my fingers together trying to get them to stop. My eyes narrowed as a bead of sweat formed on my brow. Involuntarily, my jaw clenched tight, grinding my teeth together. My leg started to shake in time with my hands. It caused a light tapping to ring out in the room. My breath came out in tremors as my heart beat faster.

Yes, stress. But it was more then that. It was that familiar sensation of depression, mixed with pain, sorrow, misery, and hopelessness. It was bound together in that horrible crippling memory that forced me to try to take my own life.

I squeezed my eyes shut, willing the memories to go away, but they increased naturally as my eyes clenched tightly together.

_"Mom!" I screamed, staring at the deer in the road._

My eyes snapped open, my breathing increased. The shaking grew to a point where it became uncomfortable. I couldn't actually write down my homework assignment at the end of class.

I practically darted out of the classroom as the bell rang. I threw my hood up, hiding my face from everyone else. It was time like this when I would, a year ago, cut myself. But now, I realized that I didn't deserve that privilege. I didn't deserve that brief relief that spread threw my body like an adrenaline based high. I didn't deserve that sanctuary. My mother was dead. _She_ received no relief.

So instead, I hid behind the school, curling up behind the bleachers that were in front of the track/basketball court. How they figured that one out was beyond me…stupid small school…

My finger nails - what was left of them anyway - dug into my scalp, as I dipped my head, resting it on my knees and shut my eyes.

Waves of endless pain swept over my head, pulling me under _my_ ocean. It was only fair that I suffered endless waves of pain for what I did.

I'd stab myself a hundred times, cut off my fingers and toes, burn myself until my skin turned to charcoal if I could only bring her back, give her life…one…more…time…

**BPOV**

Edward had some sort of doctors appointment. He wouldn't tell me what it was about, just that he had to go. Instantly I was suspicious and more then a little worried.

School was horribly boring. And to make it worse, people were talking about him…and me.

They all knew. How was beyond me, but they did. What was really worrying me, was what would happen when Carlisle found out. I was terrified by child's grandfather. If he hurt his own son that way…

"Miss Swan?" Mr. Varner asked.

My eyes shot up, looking into my teachers eyes. "I'm sorry, what?"

"What is the value of _y_?" His voice was a low monotone. Bored. Tired.

I glanced down at my notebook. I wrote 27. I also had a feeling it was wrong. "I got 27."

"You're not even close."

Great.

"Miss Stanley?"

"The answer is 8-squared."

"That's correct."

Jessica turned back and glared cockily at me.

_$#%!?!?!?!?!?_

I sighed quietly, suddenly desperately in the mood for ice cream…

Oh man, that was fun…I let my mind wander, remembering that delicious afternoon snack yesterday…

_He pushed me down on the bed. When my head hit the pillow my body went into a frenzy for him. I grabbed his shirt, ripping it off, throwing it on the ground._

_"Two months you made me wait for this!" I groaned into his mouth. He moaned apology in response._

_Our tongues twisted, curling, fighting together, swirling in their own unique dance that only we could make. I dragged my over grown finger nails down his perfect chest, feeling the muscles there, slowing, teasing as I found that small trail of hair around and below his belly button. Edward nearly had no body hair. This was the only place on his torso that had it, and it was unbelievably sexy. I nearly groaned as my fingers brushed against his jeans, remembering what was under that dark, tight denim._

_My heart fluttered in response, my breath whooshing out of my lungs._

_"Bella…" He sighed as his lips moved to my neck, biting, nipping, moving agonizingly slow. My eyes rolled back slightly as his tongue traced intricate lines on my collar bone._

_Something ripped and then I was shirtless…did he just **rip** my shirt off!?_

_Okay that is the sexiest damn thing ever!_

_I heard the fabric fall to the ground and his lips continued their descent. And then he pushed away, straddling my hips. His green eyes burning with desire. I let my eyes trail downward._

_There it was. That gloriously large bulge in his jeans. How could any man be so fucking huge!?_

_My eyes made it back to his, finding a provocative smile there. It was crooked, even more so, because half of his lip was being chewed on by those perfectly white, straight teeth. Oh, **God** I wanted to suck that lip into my mouth…_

_He placed his hands on my stomach, rubbing them upwards to my breasts, which he groped roughly. My head flew back against the pillows, back arching, throat moaning in ecstasy. Half from the sensations, half from the anticipation._

_"Are you hungry?" He murmured. His voice was rough and deep, so seductive, so desirable, that I nearly came right then and there._

_"YES!" I moaned, "Please, Edward."_

_He smiled wider, letting that lip pop out. He was the incarnation of all thing sexy and related to sex, lust, and adultery. He would make married women cum by a single glance. Hell, he could make a nun orgasm by a single glance. He was just that sexy._

_"Anything you want, baby. Just tell me what you need." Uh that VOICE again!_

_"Everything. You! Sex! Sex with you!" I moaned incoherently. He chuckled above me, enjoying his power over me._

_"Hmm…" He swallowed loudly, his hands still resting on my breasts. "And what if I'm not done with you yet?"_

_"Fuck!" I shook my head rapidly back in forth, completely overcome in my lust._

_I felt hands under me, and a few second later, my bra was gone. Then my jeans and then my panties. He was standing next to the bed now, rubbing that beautiful bulge. He shook his head, eyes alight with lust._

_"So beautiful…"_

_I stared at him, watching his hand glide over his hardness, wishing he was naked. As if he could read minds, he stripped himself of his pants, letting them fall to the ground; his boxers next to follow._

_"Come here!" My hands stretched forward, grabbing his shoulders pulling him on the bed. He crawled on top of me, moving his body in such a way that his member rubbed against my clit. My head flew back._

_"Do you like that, Bella?" He whispered, his sweet honey-mint-musk breath blew in my face making my head swirl. How could anyone taste so damn good!?_

_This boy was perfect!_

_His lips moved against mine, hips grinding into me, hands entwining with mine. I broke away regrettably from his mouth, gasping for air, as that glorious friction stole any coherent thoughts I had left. My breaths came out in moans, my hands gripping his fingers tight. He hadn't even entered me yet and I was already nearing my release._

_"I **need** you, NOW!" I groaned._

_He moaned, low and deep into my neck. "Not yet, baby. Not yet. Be patient."_

_The friction stopped and he was gone. I opened my eyes, finding him laying next to me on his back, holding the ice cream. His face held that devilish smile I loved. "You **did** say you were hungry didn't you?"_

_All I could do was moan. He chuckled, rolling onto his side, eyes staring into mine._

_I watched completely fascinated with those long fingers as they pulled the top off of the ice cream. One finger dipped in slowly, lifting out. It dripped of that creamy wetness, reminding me of another creamy wetness…_

_And then it was on my skin. He traced icy patterns on my breasts, swirling around my nipples, grazing under my color bone. My breathing came faster again._

_I watched with hooded eyes as he leaned over, slowly, and licked along the trail. He started at my collar bone, moving his tongue across my skin, moving lower towards my breasts, and then taking each nipple into his mouth, sucking it gently._

_I could not believe how it felt. It was so…so…I couldn't even describe it. Fuck-tabulous._

_I grabbed the ice cream from him, doing the same to his chest that he did to mine. He began moving lower, spreading more across our skin, licking it clean and starting over again. By the time the ice cream was gone, we were shaking. Half from the cold. Half from the intense sensations. I saw the look in his eyes._

_It was time._

_Thank God!_

_He rolled me onto his chest, settling me to that I was sitting on his pelvis just above his cock. He looked at me with love and lust and need, and I fell harder for him._

_I was nearly positive my eyes mirrored his emotions as he slid me down onto that gloriously hard dick of his._

_We groaned in unison as we connected together again. Finally._

_We lay like that for a long time just…feeling. Our fingers gliding over each other's sticky and ice cream coated bodies. We were both freezing and burning and it was wonderful._

_But it wasn't enough. We needed more. When his hands gripped my hips, and he drove his pelvis hard into mine, I knew we were on the same page. I leaned forward, moaning at the sensation of him moving inside of me, and rested my hands on his sticky chest. His lips were slightly parted, his eyes hooded. Beautiful. He was beautiful._

_I moved my hips up, slowly so slowly, pulling his member nearly all the way out of me, and then thrust back down. We both grunted. There were no words to describe how it felt._

_I did it again. And again. And again, until we had finally set the perfect pace. It was hard, fast, and rough, but at the same time, loving and perfect. It was what we needed._

_Thrust after thrust, moan after moan, sensations building, getting stronger. My whole body began to feel disconnected and my whole mind was focused on that one spot. He grabbed my hips tighter, holding me up so that he was nearly completely out of me and thrust his hips up frantically. I threw my head back, not bothering to stop my grunting._

_"Oh fuck!" He yelled. His eyes rolled back, and his breath came hard, turning into grunts and groans and tortured whimpers. He was close. I was close._

_"Oh, yes! Bella, YES! Uuuuh!! Uuughaaaaahh!!" His face contorted into that perfect agonized scrunch; eyes squeezed together, mouth wide open, head thrown back._

_"UH! Go harder!" I moaned, grabbing the sheets next to his head._

_"Fuck!" Everything happened so fast. Suddenly, I was on my back, with him on top of me, thrusting into me with everything he had. His head was on my shoulder, one hand still gripping my hip, the other squeezing the headboard. My finger nails dragged down his smooth back, pulling him deeper, needing him deeper. Just…one…more…_

_"Uh, yes, yes, YES!!" I screamed at the same time he yelled my name and then cursed loudly. His hips thrust into me one last time before we exploded in perfect unison. Our fingers tangled together and we squeezed each other's hands for dear life, as we slowly came back from our sex-induced high._

RIIIING!

My head snapped up as I remembered I was sitting in class doodling on a piece of notebook paper. I was now hot and bothered, my legs clenched tightly together.

I sighed quietly, this would be a long rest of the day…

**EPOV**

I rocked slowly back and forth. My head pounded painfully, as I held my breath for too long before sucking in a large breath, and then blowing it out again. Sobs rocked through my chest, but I bit them back ferociously.

My eyes slid closed. The shaking still very evident throughout my entire body. Soon the sobs stopped, but the shaking increased, my mind turning numb, but an intense pain racked through me. A painful stabbing starting in my stomach and jabbing sharply into my chest, shooting throughout my entire body. I gasped for breath but couldn't seem to catch it.

Suddenly something touched my shoulder. I jumped and recoiled, squirming away from it. But the smell wafted over my face, and I flung myself into her unsuspecting arms. Her sent engulfed me with her welcoming arms, sucking me into her love.

"Baby, what's wrong?" She whispered into my hair.

"I miss her. I miss her so much." I sobbed.

She sighed, "I'm sorry…I'm not going to pretend to know how it feels, but I'm here for you."

My fingers clutched her shirt tighter.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you, Edward."

***

I lay on the couch in my living room. Bella was in the kitchen getting an ice pack for my head. When she came back in, she rest the cool package on my brow and I closed my eyes, loosing myself in the sensation.

"Are you feeling better now?" She whispered, softly stroking my hair. I nodded without responding. I was always better around her.

"Bella?" I whispered, my voice still horse from sobbing.

"Yeah?" She looked down at me. Curiosity was alight in her eyes. I wanted to ask her to tell me she loved me. That she wouldn't leave me, because I couldn't…no…wouldn't live without her. But…I couldn't form the words as I stared at her beauty.

"I love you." Was all I could manage.

She smiled, "I love you too, baby." I sat up, pulling her into my arms and then laying back down with her on my chest.

I thought back to this afternoon, remembering how miserable I felt. How miserable I always felt, but not with her. She made it okay. My heart sang when she was near me. Esme's - I mentally winced - memory was a happy one when she was with me. I could think of her, without feeling the need to break down and kill myself.

I shut my eyes contentedly, letting peace finally settle in…if only for a little while….

***

"Edward!" My eyes snapped open. Bella was gone. It was the first thing I noticed. "Edward!"

A sinking feeling crept up into my chest.

Carlisle was coming….

I jumped up quickly, my heart pounding and sweat beading on my forehead.

"Edward!" His voice, angry and harsh echoed around me. Chills shot up my spine.

I turned around, meaning to run into the kitchen and out of the back door, but I froze at what I saw.

The same cliff, the same broken guard rail, as the one Esme and I crashed over.

What!?

I turned quickly, meaning to run in the other direction, but Carlisle was there. He had his black suit on. The one he wore for my mother's funeral. I looked down at myself, finding the same attire there. I looked back up at his murderous face.

"Edward." It was no longer a yell of anger, but one of recognition. And then he smiled.

"I can get her back. Esme will come back to me All I have to do…is kill you. The same way you killed her."

I shook my head. "No, dad, no! No, I'm sorry, please! I need to live! I'm going to be a father!"

Carlisle laughed, "No, not anymore. Bella's dead. I killed her…"

And then I was pushed off the cliff.

The drop was long, too long. It was minutes, not seconds, before I crashed though the icy surface of the water. My back scraped along something hard. I turned quickly, seeing the car, my mother's car.

I wanted to get out of there, right now! But something grabbed me. I turned slowly…not wanting to know, but knowing I had to.

My mother…or a shadow of herself held me there, getting revenge for killing her.

"Edward?"

I shook my head, throwing out apologies in sobs.

"Edward!"

"No! No! I'm sorry! So sorry!"

"Edward! Wake up!"

My eyes snapped open.

Bella was kneeling next to me. I looked around quickly, finding myself in my living room. It was a dream? Then why did I feel wet?

"You had a bad dream." She whispered, placing her cool hands against my clammy face. The contrast felt nice.

"Why am I wet?" I asked breathlessly.

"You're sweating."

I looked down, finding my shirt soaked with sweat. My eyes were running with tears, and my forehead dripping with perspiration. I felt disgusting. "Ew…"

She giggled.

"I'm gonna take a shower, 'kay?" I stood up.

"Want me to come with you?" I saw the hesitation in her eyes, like she thought I was going to do something stupid.

I sighed, "Yeah, whatever." I really just wanted to be alone.

***

I got out of the shower, dressing quickly, throwing on whatever, and walked into my bedroom. Bella was lounging on the bed, listening to some music.

She looked up.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I glared at her, "Not really, Bella."

She looked down and I instantly felt sorry for snapping at her.

I sighed, "I just…you don't understand."

I was suddenly angry. I wanted someone to talk to who did understand what I was going through. Some who could give me advise! But, not even Alice or Emmett could.

A thought hit me and I felt even more hopeless then before. Carlisle could help me. He was the only one who as suffering as greatly as I was. But he wouldn't. Ever.

Because he didn't care about me. He wanted me dead.

***

The next week I had been going to therapy every day because of Mr. I'm-A-Moron-Cauthron. I had been excellent progress in my ability at sarcasm and smart-ass comments. But progress in my life? Hell no.

In fact I think I was worse off from when I first started.

Bella had been very distant from me lately. I hadn't told her what I was doing or who I was with, strictly because I didn't have the courage to tell her. It was as embarrassing as hell. I was planning on telling her tonight, but then Alice had to go and remind me the party was today.

So here I was, as sober as a prune…and really sucking at coming up with comebacks because of it.

The "doctor," a.k.a. the therapist man, strictly forbid me from obtaining alcohol or cigarettes. The smoking not a problem, but the alcohol, not so much….

Seeing all these people drunk and high made me ridiculously envious. Lately I had been very down in the dumps, even Bella couldn't get me to smile.

…Maybe that was because I haven't even really seen her since that day I had that horrible dream.

I sighed. So here I was, sitting on a chair in the kitchen, practically tearing my hair out.

Abruptly, the door burst open, making me jump ten feet in the air and glare at my twin.

"Hey, bro!" She slurred. "Come dance. Drink a few. Lighten up!"

Great, even my sister was drunk…sigh.

"I can't, Alice. Mr. Cauthron forbid me too, remember?"

Her forehead creased and she stumbled - it was the first time I'd ever seen Alice stumble - over to me, thrusting a beer in my direction. "Stop making excuses. You're no fun anymore. I wish you would just lighten the heck up, Edward! Seriously you're soooo mopey!"

"Thanks for the advise, Alice."

I grabbed the drink, watching as she smiled and turned away and walked back into the living room. I quickly through the beer away.

I couldn't take this anymore. I needed to find Bella. She was probably as board as I was. She couldn't drink either.

I walked around through the crowd of people searching and not finding my object of desire. Confused, I walked up the stairs, trailing my fingers along the railing. Once I was on the third floor, I heard familiar giggling.

Ah-hah! I walked down the hall to my room, opening the door quietly and nearly collapsed.

To describe what I saw and what I felt would be torture.

Jacob.

Bella.

My worst enemy.

My…girlfriend.

My ex-best friend.

The mother of my child.

Kissing.

Heatedly.

I felt lightheaded. My heart was pounding in my chest, and my hands began shaking.

My body had registered what I was seeing while my mind had shut itself down completely, knowing I could take no more of this. No more of anything. Bella turned her face to the side, letting Jacob explore her neck, the neck that I had kissed The neck that I loved. She met my eyes, and rather then seeing guilt like I would have expected, she glared at me. That right there was made my mind snap.

A crippling agony spread up and down and body. I shook my head. Feeling my eyes well up with tears.

"Get out!" I screamed, flinging myself into the room and ripping Jacob off of the love of my life. "Both of you! Get out of my room!"

My heart was pounding, my vision was turning red, my breathing turning into pants.

Jacob glared at me, before turning out of the room with a final parting glance at Bella.

I wouldn't look at her.

I couldn't. And then she spoke.

"Pay backs a bitch, huh?"


	7. Explanations and Realizations Epilogue

**AN: PLEASE READ OR YOU WILL MOST LIKELY CLICK THE BIG RED X BUTTON IN THE CORNER OF THE SCREEN IN A RAGE! DON'T DO THIS BECAUSE YOU NEED TO TRUST ME AND KNOW I LOVE EDWARD!!!! Anyway, as I mentioned before, this story is coming to a close…finally. Sorry to everyone who likes this story, I just CAN'T write it anymore, so I'll be writing this chapter which is the end. It will probably much shorter than the others, but don't hate me for it. I'm finishing it and I PROMISE to give you a SATISFACTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(HINT HINT SO DON'T STOP READING IN THE MIDDLE HINT HINT) ending…*smiles widely and shows non-crossed fingers* Thank you all for staying with me after all this time, :)**

**Chapter 6: Explanations and Realizations**

**BPOV**

Alice's party was intense. I couldn't really expect anything else; Alice will be Alice. The boy there, Jacob Black, was really nice. He didn't try to hit on me. He didn't try to give me alcohol. He didn't try to do anything, except listen.

"I think he's cheating on me." I blurted out. We were sitting in the kitchen talking. About Edward.

"Who? Edward?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah." I whispered quietly.

"I wouldn't doubt it. It may be the first time Edward has gotten a girl pregnant - which I'm surprised about - but it isn't the first time he's pretended to be in love with someone.

Pretended? "What do you mean?"

He sighed. "Bella…boys like Edward will do anything to get into their pants -"

"But he already got into my pants -"

"Don't interrupt! I'm not finished. So anyway, boys like Edward will do anything to get into their pants and then move onto the next. _But, _sometimes a guy really enjoys one girl for a while. That doesn't mean he likes you, or loves you or what ever, it means he likes the sex…AND, not to mention the fact your pregnant."

"So what does that have to do with anything!?" I was angry now. Not at Jacob, but at Edward. If what he was telling me was true then…

"Calm down, Tiger, I'm getting there." He grabbed his beer and started chugging it until he dropped it to the table. It spilled out a little and I grimaced. I really, _really_ wanted some.

"Right, so because your pregnant, he has a tie to you that he really kinda can't break. I mean, _think_ about -" he hiccupped - "it! He stays with you, acts like a good father- to-be and screws some non-emotional, horny girl off on the side line. It's genius!"

My brain really couldn't function correctly. I knew I shouldn't believe him, and I knew I should talk to Edward about this, but it made sense. I mean, why would _I_ of all people break into Edward's heart when no other girl could? I hung my head slowing.

"Oh relax, sweet cheeks! I got me a plan!"

I looked up at him confused.

"Oh just come on!"

I sighed.

***

And so I ended up on Edward's with Jacob sitting next to me.

"So what's the plan exactly?" I asked, feeling uncomfortable.

"Well, we wait until Edward comes in the room, I push you down on the bed and start makin' out with you. Then Edward will come in, see us, freak out and get all angry and stuff and then he'll regret everything." I giggled. I really couldn't help it. So _this _was what his plan was about…

"Jacob…I'm not really comfortable with -" The door clicked open and Jacob shoved me down kissing me. I gasped surprised and his tongue quickly entered my mouth. He tasted of alcohol and cigarettes and it was gross.

As he continued kissing me, I knew Edward was watching. Suddenly, anger filled through me! Hell, Edward _did_ deserve this, even if Jacob was doing it for the wrong reasons.

I looked at Edward, who was standing in the doorway, and glared at him, making all my anger and depression that had accumulated over the past few weeks pour out at him.

_He deserves this!_

"Get out!" He screamed, flinging himself in the room and ripping Jacob off of me with inhuman strength.

"Both of you! Get out of my room!"

Jacob glared at Edward, before turning to wink at me and walked out of the room. Edward just looked at me as if he was waiting for an explanation.

"Pay backs a bitch, huh?"

He stared at me, not saying anything, and I stared back, crossing my arms over my chest.

He dropped his head, licking his lips slightly, "What do mean?" His voice cracked slightly, and so didn't my resolve to be angry with him.

"What, did you never hear that expression?" My voice wasn't as harsh, but it didn't loose all of its antagonizing tone.

"That's not what I'm asking! What did I do!?" He yelled, throwing his arms out, his eyes glaring at me.

"You cheated on me…" It started to seem less likely now, now that I was in his presence.

"What the hell are you talking about!?"

"You've been gone! Out with _someone_! All the time! You never talk to me! You always ignore my questions of what you were doing! So, if you weren't cheating, what _were_ you doing Edward Cullen, enlighten me!" During my rant, I had gotten up off the bed and ran over to him.

He looked at me incredulously, his green eyes burning into my brown ones. "I would never cheat on you, Bella." His eyes, which had been a vibrant green turned into a piercing gold before my eyes, "I would never hurt you." He whispered the last part, and I blinked a few times staring at his eyes. They were green again…

What?

"I was at therapy, Bella!" He yelled, angry again.

"Therapy!?"

"Yeah! Because I'm suicidal! It was that or I had to be committed to the fucking funny farm! So no! I wasn't cheating on you Bella! I was 'healing.' Though it wasn't doing shit."

"But…why wouldn't you just tell me that then?" I was completely confused.

"I was embarrassed that's why. So, yeah, I'm sorry I didn't tell you! I'm sorry! It was my fault! I totally deserved this!" He yelled, his voice bitingly sarcastic. I flinched.

"I…I'm so -"

"Don't Bella! Just go!"

I walked out of the room, my head hanging. "Can we talk about this?" I whispered turning around. He stood in the doorway, his sad, angry eyes burning away at my flesh.

"No."

He slammed the door.

***

It was two days later when I got the call. I should have expected it. But I didn't. Couldn't have.

Edward was dead.

At his funeral, I was hysterical. It was all my fault. He had killed himself. Successfully this time. I stood by his casket, staring at his face. It was a strange yellow color, even with all the make up they put on him. His eyes were closed, and even though he was…dead, I cringed and more tears slipped out, it still didn't look like he was peaceful. My eyes trailed over his seventeen year old body, moving down to his hands, his fingers, his wrists. The backs of them were hidden, but if I were to turn them over, then I would find the scares that marred his perfect flesh and the veins that drained his life away. I collapsed, sobbing, gripping the sides of the coffin for dear life.

"No! No! Edward, no!" I sobbed, over and over. I could hear other people sobbing behind me, and then I felt arms on my back, lifting me taking me away from him.

"Come on, Bella, let's go home." Charlie, started to lead me away from my love…my life.

I began to panic, and then found my sobs turned to screams of agony, "Edward!"

"Bella, sh, it's okay!" A voice that was too familiar echoed around my head somewhere in the distance.

"No!" I screamed. It wasn't okay! Edward was dead!

"Bella, please…you'll wake up Charlie!"

Now, the voice began to make no sense.

"NO…no…Edward!"

"Shh, love, open your eyes. Wake up!" Something shook me lightly and my eyes flew open.

It was dark. I realized quickly, even through my lack of light that I was in my room…and that I wasn't alone.

"Bella?" My head swiveled meeting his eyes.

"Edward!" I sobbed, throwing myself into his arms.

"Shh, Bella, it's okay. It was just a dream."

"It felt so real…" My voice was muffled by his chest.

"Tell me about it." I took comfort from his velvety voice and melted into his cold, strong embrace. I pulled back slightly so I could meet his golden eyes.

"Well, it was really weird. It when I first moved to Forks, and I met you…but you were a human."

He nodded, "Go on."

"I guess you were like this major 'playa' and had been with every girl in the school."

He grimaced, "That's not very pleasant…"

"Do want to hear the rest or not?"

"Sorry," his lips twitched, fighting a smile.

"Anyway…well you got me a detention and then we started flirting and stuff. Then Mr. Banner made you tutor me and then stuff happened, and then -"

"What do you mean 'stuff?'" He sounded confused, "I just wish I could read your mind already…"

"I mean…you know…_stuff_…please don't make me say it…"

"_Oh…_" Pause, "Go on."

I proceeded to tell him about the rest of my dream, skipping over the "gory" details and explained how he had died at the end, which is what had made me so upset.

"It had to be Jacob…" He muttered to himself quietly, before looking back at me again, "Frankly I'd rather that you with that awful Mike Newton then a _werewolf_, Bella. Honestly, I don't understand what you see in him."

I blushed, "_That's _the only part you're upset about…naturally."

He chuckled, kissing my forehead. "Go back to sleep, Bella, you only have a little longer before you can't anymore.

I sighed happily, "Three more weeks till the wedding."

He gasped. "Was that _excitement _I heard? Over the _wedding, really?_" He mocked.

I rolled my eyes, "Shh, I'm sleeping."

He chuckled, "Goodnight, Bella. Try not to have anymore odd dreams, please. I don't think I could handle another one."

"_You_ not being able to handle it!?"

He laughed again, "I'm just kidding. Now, sleep." With that he began humming my lullaby and I quickly succumbed into a deep, and luckily, dreamless sleep.

**AN: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *wipes eyes and sighs* Okay, don't kill me. Please review? PLEEAASE?? *gives big googly eyes***


End file.
